An expectant mother wondered if she was wrong to refuse to share the name she chose with her sister.
The anonymous mum-to-be, 38, took to Reddit to lift the lid on her former relationship with her 36-year-old brother.
She explained that she and her sister became distant after her brother used the names she had reserved for her own children.
Now, in a Reddit thread titled “Am I the asshole?”, the mom-to-be has asked social media users for advice after refusing her sister’s request to reveal her baby’s name, for fear she take it back. .
An expectant mother wonders if she is wrong to refuse to share the name she chose with her sister (stock image)
She explained that although she had struggled to get pregnant for over a decade, her sister had had no problems.
“I am (38f) pregnant with my first and probably only child. My sister (36f) is also pregnant but this is her third child and this baby comes several years after her last child who was eight years old.
“I struggled with fertility issues for many years. I was unable to get pregnant despite my efforts from the age of 24.
“We have undergone numerous tests, but no clear reason has ever been found. We tried to take breaks between trials, we tried fertility drugs in recent years and finally last year we resorted to IVF which was a success for us,” he said. she declared.
She noted that even though she didn’t have a baby, she had been picking nicknames to stop for a while.
She noted that when her sister gave birth and couldn’t decide on her baby’s name, she decided to use the nicknames her brother had chosen.
“You might wonder what this has to do with my baby’s name. Well, let me explain. My husband and I had picked out a name for a boy and a girl around the time we started trying for a baby. These were names we promised to use every time we had a baby, and we planned to have at least 2 children.
“These names remained ‘the names’ through everything. But when my sister was pregnant with her first child, she and her husband had trouble agreeing on a name. She mentioned mine and my husband’s once during my pregnancy and said how lucky we were to agree.
The anonymous mum-to-be, 38, took to Reddit to lift the lid on her former relationship with her 36-year-old brother.
“Then, when her daughter was born, she decided to use the girl’s name that my husband and I had chosen. And she admitted that that’s how the name was chosen. She said her husband liked the name we chose and she didn’t think it was bad, so she decided it would be best if they used it so their baby could have a name.
“She told me not to look upset (because, admittedly, I was emotional when she said that) and told me that at least the name would be used. Then, at the birth of her son, she used the name we had chosen for the same reason; they couldn’t agree on another name,” said the mother-to-be.
Following this incident, the two sisters grew further and further apart until they no longer spoke to each other.
“She implied quite strongly that she expected me to never have children to use that name for. Then, a few years after her son was born, she pointed out that we so easily agreed that we could come up with another name if it worked, implying that we couldn’t/should use those names anymore. she added.
For her soon-to-be-born baby, the mother said she mixed up the names she had initially chosen.
However, she revealed that she refused to share them with her brother.
“We ended up mixing our choice of boy and our choice of girl for this baby. Both had unisex names and we decided that since we liked all four names, mixing them wasn’t a big change. My sister won’t like it. But honestly, we don’t see each other much anymore.
“She has contacted us more now because we are both pregnant at the same time and she asked several times what name we had chosen. I refused to tell her. But my two brothers know. They thought I “Should have used the original name as intended and given our sister the finger. But they also understand why we chose to mix them up,” she wrote.
At the end of the post, she wondered if she was being “petty” by not revealing her name to her sisters.
People then flooded the comments section and ran to her defense by criticizing her brother.
People then flooded the comments section and ran to her defense by criticizing her brother.
One person said: “NTA. Your sister needs to check her rights… She can’t find meaningful names for her own children? She used the names you had your heart set on using and justified it by saying “well, it’s not like you can use them.” Does she have a history of insensitivity and tactlessness? I mean, sure, no one is entitled to a name for their child, but you and your partner chose these names and were going through hell trying to have a child together. She comes in and acts like she did you both a favor by using those names so they wouldn’t go to waste? Doesn’t she see how horrible and insensitive she was?
“I agree with your brothers on this, but I’m glad that you and your partner are happy with your new choices. It’s probably for the best that they spend less time with their aunt and cousins. Good luck with your new baby. Congratulations.’
Someone else wrote: “No, I had the same thought, my sister can’t be trusted.”
“Please give him a fake name you would never want and have him steal it while you have this one safe,” another person added.
Another user added: “NTA and if she has to come first I would seriously consider telling her a fake name that you would never want for your own child, just to see if she will bother you on that one too. “
One person wrote: “NTA – it’s none of her business and I wouldn’t be surprised if she wants to use her child’s name (or something similar).”
‘NTA. She has already stolen your baby’s names and will do it again. Plus his comments about you not having kids are just disgusting. I wouldn’t even talk to him anymore. Baby names are so personal and private. My siblings never shared their names and no one was ever upset. It’s about respecting privacy. Only my brother shared it once – with immediate regret – because of stupid comments from his MIL,” another user commented.
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