DEAR ABBY: I am an unhappily married woman with young children. I’m attracted to one of mine and my husband’s friend, but he’s also married. He’s a bit older and I can’t say for sure if he has feelings for me, but sometimes I suspect he does. He made me jewelry and gifts, and I caught him looking at me several times.
We exchanged messages on social media and he often asks me questions about myself: what I like, etc. He’s so quiet I can’t tell if any of this means anything. I could never leave my husband and break up my family, and I could never break up anyone else’s family. But I’m starting to wonder and sometimes I think I’m really falling in love with him. What should I do? –– CRUSHING IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR CRUSHING: Let’s face it: you are taken. Because you could “never leave” your husband or break up someone else’s marriage, find out what is wrong with your relationship with your husband and decide to fix it. Some sessions with a licensed marriage and family therapist would be the place to start. Do it now.
DEAR ABBY: I’m with someone who drinks and gambles and has made countless promises that haven’t been kept. I recently checked his Facebook account and he follows at least 12 women in their 20s, most of whom he barely knows or doesn’t know at all. Most of them are almost naked in every photo.
I told him it bothered me, but he didn’t seem to care. I told him it was disrespectful to me as a partner. I also told him to think about the things he does that affect our relationship. For him, he does nothing wrong; for me, he disrespects me, and it’s not the only time. He wrote to some of them to tell them how beautiful they are. Am I wrong? — AT A LOSS IN FLORIDA
EXPENSIVE AT A LOSS: Your gentleman friend may be a voyeur attracted to photos of random “beautiful ladies”. It has nothing to do with the respect (or lack of respect) he has for you. He likes look! Now is the time to ask yourself why you stay with someone who gambles, drinks, and breaks promises (which East disrespectful). His voyeurism is the least of your worries.
DEAR ABBY: I went out to eat at a fancy restaurant in Manhattan with some of my siblings. One of them ordered too much and charged a huge bill. When it came time to pay, he said, “Let’s charge it to Dad’s credit card.” » Our father is well-off and probably would have agreed with this, but I objected on principle.
We ended up splitting the bill, which pissed me off since my wife and I ordered much less. I can’t tell them about it because they will accuse me of being cheap. What should I have done and what should I do in the future when this happens, because it will? — MONEY CONSCIOUS IN NEW YORK
DEAR MC: The next time you go to a fancy restaurant with your siblings, before you order, tell the waiter that you want separate checks.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
New York Post
