For Janet (pseudonym), a sunny day in January 2018 was like any other. With Form One admissions underway, the rush to beat the time was on.
She had the sun in her eyes as the days approached the opening of her school, as she looked forward to being a Grade 4 candidate and passing the Kenya Secondary Education Certificate exams, and d to be the big winner of the day.
But little did she know that fate and destiny had conspired to cast upon her a twisted ephialtes, that only hell could inspire.
That day, she woke up feeling unwell. Her siblings had already gone back to school so she was home alone.
During his visit to the local health center, several tests were performed on the doctor’s recommendation.
But Janet was devastated when she learned she was HIV positive and that her viral load was very high. Surely nature can offer you its own version of cruel jokes!
“Growing up, I was a very obedient and God-fearing child. I didn’t miss church because I had so many friends.
Janet says that after the doctor told her her status, she spent hours with counselors hoping to one day wake up from her nightmare.
“My mother had traveled and I was all alone. I went to this clinic with malaria-like symptoms and found out I was HIV positive. How was I going to break this news to my mother? “, she asks.
Janet says that when she left the clinic, she locked herself in the room, ready to kill herself. But his quest was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“I was fighting so many voices in my head. I had decided to kill myself, but I don’t know how my legs worked to open the door. All I remember is that the person who knocked was a friend with whom we had shared many secrets,” she adds.
Even though she didn’t tell said friend what was happening, the thoughts of killing herself disappeared as soon as they started making jokes.
Her kind friend offered to cook a meal and spend the night with her after Janet informed her that she wasn’t feeling well.
The next day, her mother returned, but Janet was unable to reveal the torment that was gnawing at her insides.
Two days later, Janet was distraught and had to be rushed to the clinic where the doctor broke the news to her mother.
“This news broke my mother’s heart; she didn’t expect me to be HIV positive. To cope with the situation, she resorted to excessive drinking to the point of becoming an alcoholic,” Janet said.
“The boy we grew up with and had lots of sex with was HIV positive but didn’t bother to tell me. (Although) he asked for forgiveness after I confronted him, we broke up,” she said.
Janet spent the entire first trimester at home as she struggled to come to terms with what was happening in and around her world.
She finally gathered enough strength, returned to the hospital where the diagnosis had been made, and was given medication to take while she studied.
Her mother accompanied her to school and explained to the principal what was happening before she was allowed into class.
However, his condition worsened, forcing his mother to choose a few weeks later. They went to the hospital where it was determined that his viral load was getting worse.
“I was at my lowest. My mother sat me down and we had a deep mother-daughter conversation, after which I decided to get up and face life,” she said.
Armed with medication and a newfound determination, Janet says she returned to school, not only to pass the KCSE exams, but also to beat the virus that threatened to destroy her dreams.
One Saturday afternoon, the school’s dorm mistress made an impromptu search and, unfortunately, came across her medication.
Janet says she was taken aback when the teacher called her out in front of other teachers.
“I felt like no one would want to associate with me. The matter reached the principal’s office, who was kind enough to help me get back on my feet,” she says.
When the exam results were announced, Janet received a poor grade. Although she was drained, it never came as a shock to her.
But then she was introduced to the Operation Triple Zero (OTZ) program, which operates under the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR). The program aims to give adolescents and young people living with HIV/AIDS the means to take charge of their health.
Here, she met other young people living with the virus and shared her life experiences while encouraging each other to keep clinic appointments to minimize viral load.
Janet also said that she visited one of her aunts when she learned that she (the aunt) also lived positively.
“I wanted to talk to someone and I thought one of my aunts, who is my best friend, would lend a listening ear. After having a conversation and sharing what I was going through, I was almost shocked when she revealed to me that she was HIV positive and was taking medication,” she said.
She reveals that although she has a father and other siblings, they do not know that she is HIV positive, except for her mother and aunt.
“One night I went to a concert at Westlands and I had a crush on someone. I took my looks and he fell in love with me. We had a discussion about my status and to my surprise he was also living positively. We agreed on how we were going to handle our relationship and our family disputes before we moved in with him,” she blurts.
Janet and her husband are now blessed with an HIV-negative son.
“That’s why I chose to keep quiet about my status, because I don’t want to lose my family and friends,” she reveals.
“Currently, my husband and I have a viral load of 0, which means the chances of us passing the virus to each other are zero. Sometimes we have unprotected sex, sometimes we protect each other, but most importantly, we encourage each other to take medicine and keep our hospital appointments,” says Janet.
As Kenya joins the rest of the world in celebrating World Mental Health Awareness Month, she says she is grateful to never be included in a statistic of people struggling with depression and other mental issues due to their seropositivity.
“Living with HIV is like controlling a visitor in your body, it’s not the end. What I want young people to know is that in this life things happen, if you have doubts about relationships, take a break…and if you must have sex then use protection because just like me, you can have a faithful partner. who one day in his life experienced a difficult moment,” she said.
“I accepted my fate and moved on. I have no hatred towards my ex-boyfriend, we still live in the same locality and see him almost daily but I am happy that he is okay,” concludes Janet.
News Source : www.standardmedia.co.ke
Gn Health
