Health

With Dementia, Words Matter: Here Are 16 Safe Things to Say to Your Loved One

Join Fox News to access this content

Plus, you get special access to select articles and other premium content with your account, for free.

By entering your email address and clicking Continue, you agree to Fox News’ Terms of Use and Privacy Policy, which includes our Financial Incentive Notice.

Please enter a valid email address.

Having trouble? Click here.

For the relatives of patients with dementiaCommunication is often one of the biggest challenges.

Not only can it be difficult for the person with dementia to express themselves, but they may also experience a heightened emotional response to what may seem like a simple statement, question or observation from others, experts say.

“When communicating with someone with dementia, it is essential to keep in mind the importance of empathy, simplicity and respect,” Dr. Michele Nealon, a psychologist and president of the Chicago School of Public Health, told Fox News Digital.

DEMENTIA WARNING: NEVER TELL YOUR LOVED ONES WITH THE DISEASE THESE 16 THINGS, EXPERTS ADVISE

“The goal is to communicate in a way that elevates the dignity of the individual and feeling of well-beingprovides emotional support and reduces anxiety.

To help ensure smooth and stress-free communication, dementia experts have shared some examples of appropriate things to say to people with Alzheimer’s disease or other cognitive disorders.

With Dementia, Words Matter: Here Are 16 Safe Things to Say to Your Loved One

“The goal is to communicate in a way that elevates the individual’s dignity and sense of well-being, provides emotional support and reduces anxiety,” one expert said. (iStock)

1. “Can you help me?”

It can sometimes be difficult to get a person with dementia to go somewhere with you or complete a task, says Christina Chartrand, vice president of Senior Helpers, a Florida-based home care company that often helps people with dementia get around. patients with dementia.

“If you ask them for help, they’ll often be happy to go somewhere or help you with a task – it seems helpful,” she told Fox News Digital.

“It’s important that they feel like they’re contributing and have a purpose.”

2. “I understand that you are upset.”

Validating a person’s emotions normalizes their feelings, even if they’re a reaction to something that doesn’t make sense or isn’t even real, according to Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a New York City neuropsychologist and director of Comprehend the Mind.

High blood pressure and Alzheimer’s disease may go hand in hand, study finds

“You can also say, ‘It’s okay to feel that way,’ or ‘I hear you,’” she told Fox News Digital.

“This avoids a direct confrontation or argument about whether their emotions are ‘justified’ in real terms, which could lead to frustration or confusion.”

3. “I like spending time with you.”

Showing affection can reassure people with dementia and help them feel better about themselves through social interaction, Hafeez said.

“Appreciation or gratitude is likely to create a rosier environment.”

“Appreciation or gratitude is likely to create a rosier environment in which patients are encouraged to let down their guard about their cognitive problems,” she said.

“It doesn’t dwell on their limitations and emphasizes the vital role they still play in your life – a message that can boost self-esteem.”

4. “Shall we sit here?”

It may help to give the person a simple task or a change of scenery, Hafeez advised.

“Simple distractions can help restore the mood, especially if the person seems agitated,” she told Fox News Digital.

Woman with dementia

Validating people’s emotions normalizes their feelings, even if they’re a reaction to something that doesn’t make sense or isn’t even real, one expert said. (iStock)

“Instead of telling them what they are experiencing is wrong, gently offer them an alternative to divert their attention without confrontation.”

5. “You are safe”

Providing reassurance is important, especially when a person with dementia is feeling disoriented or anxious, says Adria Thompson, a licensed speech-language pathologist in Kentucky with 10 years of experience. dementia care.

“A simple affirmation, like, ‘You are safe,’ can provide immense comfort,” Thompson told Fox News Digital.

“It’s especially powerful when you get down to their level and deliver that message directly.”

6. “Do you want to listen to some music?”

According to Hafeez, music stimulates positive feelings and memories, even in patients with advanced dementia.

“It’s a calming and joyful way to engage them,” she said.

“It is essential to keep in mind the importance of empathy, simplicity and respect.”

“Music doesn’t require brainpower or a detailed conversational program, so you’re less likely to feel stressed or confused while still providing mutual enrichment.”

7. “Tell me about your favorite memory.”

“Encouraging a person with dementia to share a positive memory can help them connect with their past and feel more grounded,” said Dr. Michele Nealon, psychologist and president of The Chicago Schoolto Fox News Digital.

“It allows them to engage in a comforting, familiar conversation, which can be reassuring and validating for them.”

8. “I’m sorry”

According to Chartrand, apologizing and showing empathy can be an effective way to defuse situations with a person with dementia.

“Even if you haven’t done anything wrong, saying ‘I’m sorry’ acknowledges the person’s feelings and can help calm them down,” she said.

A mother with Alzheimer's disease

“A simple affirmation, like ‘You are safe,’ can provide immense comfort,” one expert told Fox News Digital. (iStock)

“People with dementia may have difficulty processing information or reasoning, so greeting them with understanding and compassion rather than trying to correct or explain can create a more positive and peaceful interaction.”

This approach helps preserve their dignity and ensures that they feel supported and understood, Chartrand added.

9. “Let’s do it together”

“Offering to do an activity together, whether it’s folding laundry, setting the table or any other simple task, encourages a sense of participation and teamwork,” Nealon said.

HOW TO AVOID AID RUNNING OUT, ACCORDING TO EXPERTS

“It helps the person feel useful and involved, which can build self-esteem and create a positive shared experience.”

10. “Let’s try for now”

It can be difficult to get someone with dementia to try something new or go somewhere, Chartrand said.

“If you make a request that is not permanent but is just ‘for now,’ it can provide a more positive experience,” she said.

11. “Can you tell me more about this?”

Michael Kramer, long-term care educator and director of community relations for retirement homes in Ontario, often asks this open-ended question to its residents, as it invites the person to share their thoughts and feelings.

“This in turn fosters real engagement and provides insight into their perspective,” he told Fox News Digital.

Man with dementia

Instead of simply saying “goodbye” when you leave, it’s better to inform the patient why you’re leaving, one expert said. (iStock)

“Asking this question also helps avoid frustration by allowing them to express themselves in their own terms.”

12. “I have to go now, so I can get my groceries for dinner.”

Rather than simply saying “goodbye” when you leave, it’s best to let the patient know why you’re leaving, says Leonie Rosenstiel, president of Dayspring Resources, Inc., in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

“Goodbye” can make it seem like you’re going away for a long time, and that thought can upset them,” she said.

13. “I’ll remind you in a minute.”

Because of the forgetfulness that dementia often causes, people with the disease may become hyperfixated on a certain topic or detail, Kramer said.

CLICK HERE TO GET THE FOX NEWS APP

“This phrase is useful when dealing with memory issues because it provides a gentle reminder without creating pressure or frustration,” he said.

“It also helps ensure that important details are not forgotten.”

14. “It’s okay if you don’t remember, let’s enjoy the moment.”

This reassures the person that it’s OK to forget things and shifts the focus to the present moment, Nealon noted.

Alzheimer's disease - elderly woman

“The secret to safe communication is to make the interaction relaxed, friendly and non-threatening,” one expert said. (iStock)

“This helps alleviate any pressure they might feel to remember and encourages mindfulness, which can reduce stress and anxiety” she added.

CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE TO OUR HEALTH NEWSLETTER

Hafeez agreed, noting that memory loss can be frustrating or embarrassing for the person with dementia.

“Instead of drawing attention to their forgetfulness or waiting for them to remember, this expression takes the pressure off and encourages a more relaxed interaction,” she said.

15. “Let’s look at these pictures together”

Nealon says engaging in an activity like looking at photos can stimulate positive memories and provide a distraction from any confusion or agitation they might be feeling.

Senior looking at old photos

Engaging in an activity like looking at pictures can stimulate positive memories and provide a distraction from any confusion or agitation they might be feeling. (iStock)

“It’s a way to connect emotionally and cognitively without putting pressure on them to remember details,” she said.

16. “Do you want to go for a walk together?”

Nealon says offering to participate in a simple, shared activity like walking can provide a sense of normalcy and camaraderie.

“Physical activity is also beneficial for reduce anxiety and can help improve mood,” she said.

“This invitation is not demanding and promotes a calm and pleasant experience.”

For more health articles, visit www.foxnews.com/health

The common thread among all these suggestions, according to Hafeez, is that they make the person feel safe and connected.

“The secret to safe communication is to make the interaction relaxed, friendly and non-threatening,” she said.

“You have to be confident, honest and authentic, and make them feel connected to you.”

Back to top button