Dear Harriette: I really like to read your column, but I must say that your response to “Overear” – The person who thought that a friend “can have dependence on food” – made my jaw fall.
Here’s what you should have said: Excuse your friend. She is an adult and has the right to make her own choices concerning food – or anything else, moreover.
The fact that she has rejected your “advice” not asked once should be a large index. She said you were rude and you were. Suppose you like the food police – or to monitor anyone about any habit without being requested – is rude.
It is also presumptuous and arrogant to assume that you do not have boring habits or “dependencies” or that no one else could have reasons to be “concerned” by some of your behavior. Do you want friends who show you police at each event?
Be a real friend, accept it for whom it is, the faults and everything, and put your energy to find good things in it instead of observing it on its diet, which does not concern you.
I must say, Harriette, with all the respect I owe you, when you have finished your answer with “Try not to judge it”, I shouted: “And you Don’t judge her! “”
– Discuss again
Dear think again: Thank you for this cold water in the face. Maybe this subject touches me too closely.
I have a dear friend who has a hard time with a food disorder for years. I didn’t say anything and I still didn’t keep it next to her, asking once there is something to be tackled. When she finally told me about her condition and asked for help, I was her cheerleader.
I see the devastation that it caused her body to him, and it hurts me that I cannot help but more.
I want dear beings to be more favorable.
As you pointed out, a person’s consumption is their own business. Unfortunately, I am corrected.
Dear Harriette: I have been arguing with my husband for years. He tells me regularly as if I were an idiot. He is rude and downright nasty.
I begged him to stop treating me like that. I asked him to go into therapy with me so that we can understand how to communicate better, but he refuses.
We had a huge explosion the other day I challenged him because he had been particularly rude with me; He shouted on me, saying he doesn’t want to change and will not change.
I don’t know what to do. I cannot continue to live like this. I don’t think I can afford to live alone, however.
In addition, I’m afraid. We have been together for so long that I don’t know how to live alone.
– trap
Dear trap: You suffer from emotional violence. Access a mental health advisor now. Work with someone to solve your problems and create a game plan for your future.
Yes, it’s scary, but you deserve to be better treated. Know that even if it is insurmountable today to take measures, you deserve to be treated with respect.
If your husband is not willing or unable to do so, you should withdraw from this relationship.
Will it be difficult? Yes. Can you do it? Absolutely. If you need help for all this or if you feel dangerous, please call the national hotline of domestic violence at 1-800-799-7233 immediately.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of Dreamleapers, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to Askharriette@harriettecole.com or to the syndication Andrews McMeel, 1130, rue Walnut, Kansas City, MO 64106.
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