Why some women opt out of work

If TikTok is to be believed, more and more women are adopting a traditional approach to romantic relationships: some even say they’re withdrawing from the workforce entirely in favor of what’s called the “sweet life,” centered on their home, their family and theirs. well-being.

(Re)enter the “tradwife,” one of the growing trends in social media. It shows a careful look at women who embrace domesticity as the antithesis of what other young women experience, who “work hard and barely get by,” said social media trend forecaster Casey Lewis.

“The thing about tradwives is that it’s very different; it’s an escape from reality for a lot of people,” she said.

Experts say it’s a facade. Evidence shows that this is something that few women actually do and is not a realistic lifestyle to aspire to.

When it comes to women and money, the data is generally not favorable.

Even as women achieve increasing levels of education and representation in leadership positions at work, they still gain just 84 cents for every dollar men earn – a dynamic that has shown no significant signs of improvement in decades. As a result, women are more likely to be financially vulnerable and have less saved for retirement and other long-term goals.

Even as women’s economic situation improves, they still lag behind their male counterparts in almost every financial measure. “I can understand people who say it’s just too much,” said Stacy Francis, a certified financial planner and president and CEO of Francis Financial in New York.

They’re old ideas with new slogans, says Eve Rodsky, author of “Fair Play,” about traditional women and the social media trend of stay-at-home girlfriends, or SAHG: “It’s the definition of patriarchy – there is nothing new here.”

“Traders claim they have the power to make their choices,” Rodsky said. But giving up paid work has an economic cost. “Traders or stay-at-home friends take enormous economic risks,” she added. “What that really means is you don’t have economic security.”

Francis, who is a member of CNBC’s Council of Financial Advisors, advises her clients to consider that “at some point in their lives, they will be solely responsible for making financial decisions for themselves.”

Social media gives a glamorous view of life, but “it’s not realistic,” Francis said. Financial dependence can also mean a loss of power or control, she added.

For SAHGs, creating an imbalance in a relationship from the start is more troubling, said Heather Boneparth, co-author of The Joint Account, a money newsletter for couples. “For the stay-at-home girlfriend, the power dynamic is even more skewed in favor of her partner because she truly has everything to lose.”

Staying at home also requires a certain degree of privileges that fewer young adults have these days. In reality, most people live paycheck to paycheck. In the United States, more than three-quarters, or 78%, of millennials live in a “dual-career couple,” compared to 47% of baby boomers, according to the Berkeley Haas Center for Equity, Gender and Leadership.

Two full-time working partners are increasingly necessary to achieve the American dream – which, for many people, involves some combination of owning a home, getting married, having children and earning enough after expenses to save for retirement and spend on leisure.

Today’s young adults are having a harder time reaching these milestones, at least compared to their parents a generation ago, according to a recent Pew Research Center report.

According to studies, disillusionment is setting in among young Americans. Generation Z is increasingly less motivated by the daily grind and is taking a more relaxed approach to their long-term financial security, according to a recent Prosperity Index study by Intuit.

In today’s climate, emerging adults ages 18 to 25 are most interested in experiences that promote personal growth and emotional well-being, according to the report.

Young women, whether married or not, are expressing a desire to “take a step outside of the professional rat race,” Lewis said.

“There’s a lot of pressure on young women,” she says. Being a stay-at-home girlfriend or business wife is “an excuse to step back and do less.”

But on the contrary, women now work more, not less.

“Prime-aged women, including mothers, are participating in the workforce more than ever,” said Julia Pollak, chief economist at ZipRecruiter.

By 2023, women’s employment had recovered from losses caused by the pandemic. In 2024, the labor force participation rate of women ages 25 to 54 will reach a record high, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Of course, even in households where both partners work, many marriages still adhere to traditional gender roles. According to experts, in cases where men are the main breadwinners, it is most often women who shoulder the bulk of family responsibilities.

“In other words, you can choose to be a trading wife if you have a trading husband,” Pollak said.

In at least some marriages or partnerships, couples reevaluate their ideas about work and family and find a balance between the two.

Recently, it’s actually men who are choosing to reduce their work, particularly those with higher incomes and higher education levels, according to a 2023 working paper published by the National Bureau of Economic Research.

“The pandemic may have motivated people to reevaluate their life priorities and also accustomed them to more flexible working arrangements (e.g., working from home), leading them to choose to work fewer hours, especially if they can afford it,” the report said. the researchers wrote.

“There’s a new group of great men who say overwork is no longer their first priority,” Rodsky said of those men who may have previously worked long hours and are now calling back.

“The dark side of the pandemic was this recycling of old ideas by banana bread sellers; the exciting side is this big change happening.”