“ White Lotus ” highlights the way old friends bring out our worst me

“We are still the same people as we were in 10th year,” said the character of Carrie Coon, Laurie, in the successful HBO series “The White Lotus”, explains the two friends. “It’s just funny,” she adds.

To which she refers is not literally funny, nor nostalgic. The commentary reflects an underlying tension current which crosses their relationships. The three women, who are friends from primary school and who are on vacation together in a luxury station in Thailand, adhere to each other to be “too generous” and to look “incredible”. But they also get married and talk about each other – to drink too much, need male attention and perhaps being republican. They are in his forties, but their dynamics remember that of a high school clique.

For many viewers, these details highlight a common experience: sometimes you regress when you are with the people you know the longest. Remembering a long -term facet of your personality can be one of the advantages of long -term friendship. But old friends can also bring back models of self -doubt and unhealthy who can leave you “this feeling of Ick,” said Kelly Campbell, professor of psychology at California State University, San Bernardino, who studies friendships.

The creator “White Lotus”, Mike White, wanted to explore this regressive behavior between friends, especially when you have apparently achieved more success than others. (Jaclyn, played by Michelle Monaghan, is a famous television actor; Kate, played by Leslie Bibb, is a household mother; and Laurie is a business lawyer.) “The simple fact of being with these people ray certain injuries, even if they do not want it,” said White in an interview in February with HBO. Consequently, you feel obliged, he said, to “justify your life to certain types of people with whom you have this story”.

Competitive tension vanishes when the three women meet the attractive and flirtatious “health mentor” of the complex, Valentin, and a tangle follows on his attention. “Why did you continue to push me on me when it was always your plan to connect yourself?” Laurie demands from Jaclyn, pouting when she does not receive a satisfactory response. “It’s like nobody ever changed,” she said.

Insecurity is jet fuel that leads to this type of dynamic, said Dr. Campbell. Childhood friends are trained at a time when individuals, especially young girls, generally have low self -esteem. At this age, we could compare ourselves with our friends and seek an external validation, she said. “I hope that, when you arrive in adulthood, you work through this insecurity.”