DEAR ABBY: Over the course of my 30s (I’m now in my mid 70s), I have done nude modeling for several well-known photographers, resulting in some lovely portraits. A few of them were framed and hung on my bedroom wall.
My family members are aware of it, but they are very religious (which I am not), so I don’t know how to get rid of it. Should I try to sell them, and if so, how? Should I leave them to someone or should I leave them to my executor? What to do? — PORTRAITS TO THE SOUTH
DEAR PORTRAITS: Definitely discuss this with your executor well before the need arises. If the photographers are well-known, go online and find out if there is a market for their work. Offer the portraits for sale and see if there is interest. You could also leave them to an “open-minded” relative or friend. I wish you good luck.
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a sexless marriage for 25 years. It hasn’t always been this way, but all intimacy has been over for over a decade. My wife’s libido has decreased, which I understand. What she does is continually bring up issues about me from years ago like it was yesterday.
I have my faults, like lack of communication and shutting down, which I have objectively thought a lot about and tried to work things out. I am not violent, I do not use drugs or abuse alcohol. She remains adamant in her distrust of me and punishes me by refusing any form of intimacy.
We attended marriage counseling, where I listened to her and acknowledged my repair issues. On the other hand, she justifies her actions and behaviors. She has her own faults but doesn’t want to know how much her actions hurt me. She also did not listen to the advisor and will not hold herself responsible.
I feel so lonely. She thinks a lack of intimacy is a good thing for a marriage, and that frustrates me. I’ve talked to her about it several times, but she won’t budge. I could use your advice on this. — ALONE MAN IN GEORGIA
DEAR SINGLE MAN: You’ve tried counseling; the advice failed. Lack of intimacy (of any kind) is not “acceptable” for a marriage. Call a lawyer and free yourself.
DEAR ABBY: In a response to “Ganged Up On” (December 23), you said it was illegal to hit a child in California. This was in response to a woman whose mother-in-law had spanked her grandchild. I was born in California and lived there for over 50 years, and I think you have misinterpreted the penal code.
It is not illegal to spank in California. He East It is illegal to use excessive force or cause traumatic injury while doing so. I don’t personally believe that a child should be hit, but it’s not “illegal.” In fact, corporal punishment, not abuse, is legal in every state in the United States. — DENISE E. IN NEVADA
DEAR DENISE: Mea culpa. I was mistaken. You’re not the only reader I’ve heard from after printing this response. Thanks for straightening me out on this.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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