What to know before starting therapy

I am Christina Caron, a journalist covering mental health, and I replace Jncee Dunn this week.

When I was at university, I decided to make my very first mental health meeting with one of the school advisers. I remember very little about this conversation, except that I was so nervous that I was sweating. In addition, I felt that the therapist had often brushed my worries.

At the time, I did not understand that it was ok to repel a little. And all the experience was so clumsy and uncomfortable that I left after a few sessions. My point to remember – although I am sure that this is not what the therapist wanted – was that I had to harden, pack my concerns and crush my fears rather than really dig what was behind these feelings.

What I have since learned, especially now that I report on mental health is that therapy can be useful and even that changes life. But its success depends largely on your relationship with your therapist and the quality of your communication.

In case you are thinking of seeing a therapist this year, or of finding a new one, I asked several therapists known to share what they wanted to know to customers before their first session.

1. A strong link is essential.

All the therapists I consulted said that the most important thing to seek when you are looking for advice is a “good adjustment” – or the link between the therapist and the customer, that mental health professionals call the Therapeutic alliance.