Dear Miss Manners: What is a polite way to refuse a hug with friends or foreigners? What to do when my handshake offered is beaten and a hug pursued instead?
Some men, in particular, seem to want to hug me because of my big chest, and it looks more like a sexual assault than a friendly gesture. And there are some women (whom I do not consider friends) who have behaved badly in the past, and I don’t want them to touch me.
Is the Council the same in both cases? And what about when they continue me?
Mild player: Run.
No friendly gesture should be done at personal security prices. If your hand offered is beaten, get back quickly and make a little bow (to get a certain distance between you), then mumble by explanation: “Something happens and I don’t want you to catch it.”
Miss Manners will leave at your discretion to tell these people that “something” is their health behavior.
Dear Miss Manners: We had to dine with another couple, and my wife became horrified when I took the final sip of my cocktail, with an ice cube, then I brought the ice cube to the glass.
The final sip is the best sip! Is it so horrible?
Mild player: Yes.
By all means, take this final sip. But Miss Manners will have to insist that you find a way to do it without the ice coming back naked.
Dear Miss Manners: As a pre -adolescent, someone told me that it was rude to eat a food on my plate at the same time – that I was supposed to move on my plate, eat bites of each article successively.
I like to enjoy all the food before continuing. The only thing I can compare is to watch a television show, and someone changes the channel in the middle. I want to finish the show I watch before I go to the next one.
The day I was told, I made a silent wish that I would always eat a food at a time, as I prefer. But I wonder if you have already heard of the rule that this person was trying to impose me.
I think it is rude to monitor the others, but then this person was still trying to do it when I was sixty. I am no longer in this person’s life, but the question harassed me for decades. Who was right?
Mild player: You.
Even Miss Manners has no opinion on the order in which you eat your dinner – and would certainly never watch it.
As long as you do not try to consume the bread bowl before soup or make similar chaotic choices, it supports your decisions – both on how you choose to eat and to keep yourself away from this throbbing person.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners on her website, www.missmanners.com; To his e-mail, gentlerader@missmanners.com; or by post to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
California Daily Newspapers
