The day we left high school, my five closest friends and I made a pact. Our friendship, forged at the age of 11, would last a lifetime, no matter where our careers or family took us.
And sure enough, for 24 years, the six of us met regularly, husbands and kids in tow, even going on group vacations together. Then last spring, a delicate subject tore our little group apart: money, leading to a feeling of betrayal and, I admit, latent jealousy.
For years, Rachel, 41, a project manager, and her husband Rob, 44, a surveyor, who live in a modest three-bedroom townhouse, pleaded relative poverty and we had no reason not to believe them.
For 24 years, we remained close to our school friends… until the sensitive subject of money began to come up in our conversations.
The rest of us aren’t exactly rich, but comfortable with good careers (I’m a management consultant). Although we never discussed salaries – my husband and I earn a total of £100,000 a year, but in the South East that doesn’t go very far – I assumed we were in similar boats.
To accommodate Rachel and Rob’s seemingly leaner budget, we cut back on group ski trips, city breaks, staycations, and ordered takeout instead of eating out. We once subsidized Rachel for a girls’ holiday to Malta when she said she couldn’t afford the accommodation. When we had takeout at my house, I didn’t chase her for a refund.
However, at a gathering last April they pulled up in a brand new Range Rover which reportedly didn’t leave them with much change from £75,000. A big step forward compared to their old Volvo.
“It’s as great as I thought it would be,” Rob said.
For years, Rachel, 41, a project manager, and her husband Rob, 44, a surveyor, who live in a modest three-bedroom townhouse, had pleaded relative poverty and we had no reason not to believe.
Looks were exchanged in the room; Weren’t they supposed to be short of money? Perhaps they had a secret windfall – an inheritance or a job bonus.
But a few months later, while having a girls-only weekend, Rachel blurted out that “Rob and I just bought a second home as an investment to rent out.” When a group member repeated her words to her in astonishment, she replied, “Yes, we have been saving for years.
Apparently it’s a three-bedroom terraced cottage near where we grew up in Cambridgeshire, not big, but buying a second home is a stark contrast to our stress over increasing costs. mortgage rates on our property alone.
Disbelief filled the group as we realized they had tricked us. All these years of pretending they couldn’t afford this or that while they secretly amassed a pot of hundreds of thousands of euros!
However, at a gathering last April they pulled up in a brand new Range Rover which reportedly didn’t leave them with much change from £75,000. A big step forward compared to their old Volvo. Photo posed by the model
After the weekend, a WhatsApp group without Rachel was created for us all to vent our fury, remembering the countless times we had changed our plans so they could join us.
I was furious remembering all the fuss Rachel had made about my 40th birthday 18 months ago.
In hindsight, this was perhaps the most hurtful compromise. I had planned a weekend away at a beautiful cottage in Norfolk. When I presented my suggestion and prices – £200 per couple for three nights – Rachel immediately replied: “We don’t do that, we can’t afford it.”
She went on to say: “Surely you can find a cheaper cottage, otherwise do we have to go away for the weekend? I was disappointed, but sympathetic, believing they were financially tight. We went out for afternoon tea instead.
A friend was furious that we paid for Rachel’s hotel room in Malta. And another reminded us that when Rachel and Rob had a barbecue a few summers earlier, they asked everyone to contribute to the cost of the food and drinks. Then there was the planned ski trip which they said was extravagant (it wasn’t) so we moved it from Italy to Bulgaria to save around £300 per couple.
We now know that they saved hundreds of thousands of euros.
Who knows where their madness will end? They are then planning a large kitchen extension. You might think this is some green-eyed monster stuff on my part. I admit that I envied the second property.
And it got my husband and I thinking about our own financial decisions. We have both lost loved ones and our attitude is that life is short, so we spend a little and save a little.
During a girls-only weekend, Rachel blurted out that “Rob and I just bought a second home as an investment to rent out.” Photo posed by the models
But the real reason for my anger is a feeling of betrayal. If they had explained the reasons for this difficult situation, we would have understood, but we probably would not have been as accommodating about the reduction in our group plans.
The deception runs deep and the other girls feel the same way. Our husbands’ opinions are more divided: some say we should leave them alone. However, a year later, my husband thinks it’s time to include Rachel and Rob again.
We should have explained how betrayed we felt. Instead, we talk behind their backs and it becomes easier to not include them.
We all felt a curious sense of relief and guilt the first time we met for dinner without them. But it’s not the same now that a key member of our group is missing. Sadness is my dominant emotion because I love Rachel. She is the most loyal friend, but money can change people and I have no doubt that Rob was the main driving force in keeping their savings plan going for them.
We are planning a short stay in Mallorca. Feeling guilty, we decided to tell Rachel and Rob. As always, their first question was, “How much is this going to cost?” »
This time we said we were sticking to the flights and accommodation we had booked, so they wouldn’t come – presumably putting money aside for their new kitchen. I think they are oblivious to the harm they have caused.
So it turns out that our pact of friendship will not last the distance. I hope their new loot was worth it.
Names have been changed.
As told to SADIE NICHOLAS
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