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Untrustworthy parent leaves guilty legacy – The Denver Post

Dear Amy: I grew up with a mother who I could never trust to reliably “introduce herself”.

She was an alcoholic until I was 7 and I went back and forth between her and my father while she was in relationships with several men.

She had a period of abstinence from the age of 7 until the age of 13, then remarried and had two more children.

Once I went to college, I was no longer invited to the house, and it continued even after I got married.

She rarely called and was very busy with my half-siblings. There was always an excuse for her not to see me.

She would cancel at the last minute to see a friend or make it very difficult to make solid plans. If I hadn’t initiated the meeting, I would never see it.

Now my kids are teenagers and they don’t know her at all.

Throughout their childhood, she never invited them. She never invites us over for Christmas with my stepfather and half-siblings.

I feel like it was my job to try and maintain a relationship with her.

I often feel it as an added burden – with a heavy guilt attached to it. Am I right to feel this?

I have always wanted supportive and involved grandparents, but I really don’t know what is normal.