Twitter is a sewer.
And even though we like not to think about the back end of our plumbing system, it has become an integral part of our civilization. It’s so much better than running around the yard on a cold night, trying to get out of a scratched suit just to use the spider-infested outhouse in total darkness.
Of course, Twitter isn’t as useful as a working indoor toilet. But it serves a purpose.
If nothing else, it keeps some of the most ridiculous and delirious people in America busy. If Alexander S. Vindman wasn’t on Twitter, for example, he’d probably be among the serious people doing real damage.
Yes, Twitter is a sewer. But she’s also a babysitter for ridiculous people – especially ridiculous people in the media, in Hollywood, and in government. Unfortunately, Twitter has also become a satellite office used by the FBI to punish American citizens and corrupt American elections.
And they told you to worry about the Russians?
Hilariously, there are otherwise serious and patriotic Americans who have mastered Twitter. Donald Trump is one of them.
Mr. Trump so brilliantly hijacked Twitter and beat all the ridiculous people at their own game that he used the platform to get himself elected president. The Twitter geniuses had never even thought of that. And then, because he was elected president, he made Twitter much more popular and serious than it ever would have been.
It humiliated all the screaming morons who run Twitter. So they had no choice but to kick Mr. Trump out of their stupid little Twitter club.
Another serious person who has mastered Twitter is Elon Musk. He builds nifty electric vehicles and launches rockets into space. And, even more deviously, he makes the federal government pay for it all. Smart guy.
Anyway, he was really good on Twitter. Then he got mad and started harassing Twitter employees for being so annoying and slow and for allowing US spy agencies to run the place and shut down free speech.
He got so carried away that he ended up accidentally buying the whole company for an amount he will never get back – unless he can figure out how to get the feds to pay him back. Don’t count it. Like I said, a smart guy. And very sneaky.
In the meantime, Mr. Musk decides to sprinkle some sanity dust on his new social media platform because he can’t give it back.
Contrary to company policy, Mr. Musk now allows free speech on Twitter.
Then he revealed the massive scheme in which Twitter urged FBI officials to use the social media platform to rig the 2020 election to remove Mr Trump from office. Facebook did the same, but Mr. Musk did not buy that company. Not yet anyway.
Exposing this corrupt scam involving the FBI sparked Mr. Vindman, who is only famous for being a government official who failed to remove Mr. Trump from office through a layoff scam. in charge. So Mr. Vindman went after Mr. Musk over the weekend.
“.@Twitter is dying. Its good. If anything, he must be killed as soon as possible. @elonmusk cannot be allowed to promote dangerous radical views…hate speech,” he bubbled on Twitter. “Imagine Goebbles with a bigger platform and a wider reach.”
Who talks like that? In public? Government officials in the so-called “intelligence” business, apparently.
Yes, according to this chubby Ukrainian renegade, Mr. Musk’s free speech on Twitter is the equivalent of Joseph Goebbels’ campaign to kill 6 million Jews in gas chambers during World War II.
In Mr. Vindman’s twisted world, free speech is “hate speech”. Opposing opinions are “dangerous radical opinions”. Anything Mr Vindman disagrees with must be “killed as soon as possible”.
This is how federal officials like Mr. Vindman speak in public. Who is Joseph Goebbels in this situation?
Perhaps another good thing about Twitter. Besides keeping losers like Mr. Vindman angry, it also exposes them for who they really are.
Good luck, Mr. Musk. Don’t pass the bill to the innocent American taxpayer.
* Charles Hurt is an opinion writer at The Washington Times.