This cake-shaped zine may help you have your happiest birthday yet : Life Kit : NPR

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Adrian Calinescu/500px/Getty Images

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No matter how old you are, celebrating a happy birthday is one of life’s great pleasures, says Tamar Hurwitz-Fleming, author of How to have a happy birthday. Click here to download this cake zine to print and fold at home. The reverse side contains useful birthday tips.

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Tamar Hurwitz-Fleming knows what it’s like to have special birthdays and not-so-great birthdays, like her 18th birthday as a college freshman.

“I woke up, I was excited by phone calls from my family wishing me happy birthday, but the calls never came,” she says.

A few years later, she decided to do things differently. “My the birthday was going to be until Me. I took a day off, walked around the city and bought myself a gift. It was a beautiful day,” she said.

Hurwitz-Fleming is a birthday enthusiast and author of the book How to have a happy birthday, published in January. No one teaches you how to celebrate a birthday as an adult, she says. When you’re a child, your family makes all of these decisions for you. Then you grow up and “you have to make your (own) birthday happen.”

No matter how old you are, celebrating a happy birthday is one of life’s great pleasures, she says. You just need to figure out what this means for you and put a plan into action. Here’s how to turn your birthday into one to celebrate.

Treat Your Birthday as Your Personal Vacation

Some of us expect friends or family to take the initiative to celebrate our birthday, says Hurwitz-Fleming. “We often sit back and wait for others to do for us what we can only do for ourselves.”

Instead, take the reins on your special day. “If we want to celebrate our birthdays with joy, we need to take charge of our day and honor ourselves,” she says.

Start with just one step: do something you want to do. Maybe it’s a big party attended by all the humans you know. Or something more intimate, like a drink with a few friends.

If you don’t like the attention of birthday people, do something just for you. Take a hiking trip, sign up for a special class, or go on that whale-watching excursion you’ve been meaning to go on.

And if serious things happen in your life on your birthday, show compassion. Treat yourself to a massage or simply relax on the couch at home with a slice of funfetti cake.

Prepare like it’s Thanksgiving

Think of your birthday as your personal holiday, says Hurwitz-Fleming. And like any other holiday, it requires some preparation “in the same way that you’re not going to wake up on Thanksgiving expecting a turkey on your table and friends to arrive.”

Use the weeks leading up to your birthday to plan and take care of anything you need to do, like buying tickets to a show, reserving a table at a restaurant, or buying your cake.

Tell your friends, your family… even strangers!

When planning your birthday, share that vision with other people, says Hurwitz-Fleming. This can help ensure that when your special day arrives, you won’t feel forgotten.

Tell your loved ones that your birthday is coming up and let them know if there are any specific ways they can get involved. For example, ask friends and family to help you plan your party or save the date to do something together, like take a hike or go to a concert.

On the day itself, Hurwitz-Fleming likes to tell strangers that it’s her birthday. “Sometimes I’m in a store buying my birthday present and I tell the person behind the counter it’s my birthday. They always light up. Everyone is happy for the people celebrating their birthday. ”

Remember that growing old is a privilege

Birthdays mean we are a year older. And if you have feelings about it, think of it this way, says Hurwitz-Fleming: “Growing old is a privilege and a joy. I have so much more wisdom, confidence and comfort with myself at 58 than I did before. 30 years ago.”

The point of having a happy birthday is that it softens you and makes you kinder, she says – to yourself and to others.

The digital story was written by Malaka Gharib and edited by Meghan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We would like to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823 or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.

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