The wedding planner shares things that guests should never do during a wedding

During my many years as a professional marriage planner, I learned one or two things about people who attend my events.

Here are the most common errors that I see the guests at the wedding and how to avoid them.

While waiting for the last minute for RSVP or not doing it at all

A wedding is not like a normal party where you can see what you feel in the morning and decide, so if you will attend or not.

Whether it is a backyard potluck or a formal dinner, the event often involves catering, and anyone provides food should know how many people to plan.

When you refuse RSVP, you force the couple to find the information when they are already busy planning their marriage.

Act as if you know the couple better than they know themselves

Believe that people get married when they tell you what they do or don’t want, especially with regard to registers and gifts.

If the couple ask for money, donations to non-profit organizations or non-physical gifts such as gift cards or experiences, don’t tell them that they are wrong and buy them a vase.

The best gift you can offer as a guest is to respect their wishes.

Leave favors on the site

I know none of us need more monogrammed trinkets, but simply take the sacred Coozie, ok?

You can throw it or, ideally, recycle it as soon as you return home, but if you leave it at the wedding, you just give the couple more to clean.

And advice for couples: if you give favors, try to do something that will not be found in a discharge.

Do not talk about something that makes you nervous to attend the wedding

In some situations, marriage guests need certain things to feel safe during the celebration.

They may need information on the accessibility of a place, the confirmation that food will not cause an allergic reaction and / or will violate a religious belief, or a breastfeeding space, to name only a few.

In an ideal world, the couple will proactively provide this information, but some things fall through the meshes of the net.

If you need something of the couple, say to them with kindness, empathy and note. They want you to have fun as much as possible – that is why they invited you first.

Ask the couple questions before reading the equipment they sent you

As a guest, you have probably received at least one correspondence from the couple. Often, it is a backup or an invitation, but sometimes it is a wedding website, a Facebook group or a long text thread.

Whatever the medium, please read.

These messages contain vital information on marriage – the most critical, they should detail at the start of the ceremony. Do not be the guest who asks the couple this information the day before marriage.

Do not keep track of your personal effects

This never fails to surprise me what a wedding guest will leave aside so that anyone can enter – handbags, phones, credit cards. I saw it all extended to tables while the guests dance all night.

This advice is not to scare yourself by thinking that someone will fly your things – just try to remember where you put it. Ideally, keep your personal effects at your seat.

It is much easier to locate these items (or, as often happens, a sober supplier helps you find them) if we can refine where you have been.

Be not prepared to be a little hungry

The biggest complaint that I hear guests is that they are hungry.

Although I agree that the best parties have a lot of good food, sometimes a couple cannot literally allow you to give you the meal to five dishes of your dreams. Or, you may have to wait longer than expected to stop.

So pack a few backup snacks in your bag or glove compartment in case you need it to avoid hunger all day.

Act coarse to sellers

Wedding sellers build their business on the service of others, but that does not mean that you should take advantage of it.

Customers can forget that, especially after a few trips to the bar, but do not ridicule yourself by slamming your fingers to the caterer or telling the florist how to do their job.

Treat sellers as you would like to be treated.

Bring a big or heavy gift to wedding

I love the statement you are trying to make with this 50 -pound giant gift. However, what is the couple supposed to do at the end of the night?

In almost all situations, everything that has been brought to a wedding must be deleted the same day. This means that your love token has become the problem of what the VIP guest was responsible for cleaning.

Please make things easier for everyone and directly receive big gifts to the couple. If you feel strange to get empty-handed to a wedding, bring a card and use it to tell the couple what you sent them.

Arrive late at the ceremony because you have not taken into account travel and parking times

Please go to the ceremony in time.

As a guest, take into account your journey time, your circulation possible and how long it could take to park so as not to get late.

Many of this information can be easily accessible on the invitation. If not, you have Google. Use it.

Forgetting that, as a guest, marriage is not about you

The purpose of a wedding is not to spend the most money, to wear the most beautiful clothes or to eat the best food.

The objective of a wedding is to celebrate the start of a wedding, so challenge the couple in your thoughts throughout the big day and the planning process.

Ask yourself if your complaint helps the couple achieve their goal. Otherwise, try to keep it for you.

This story was initially published on February 2, 2022 and more recently updated on April 28, 2025.