The husband and the wife are both alphas. This can make parenthood delicate.

Our family often does not do things in the usual way. With two sto the will Parents at the helm, our parental style can sometimes be not very conventional. What attracted me to my husband was his sense of responsibility, even as fourth among his brothers and sisters. And he says it was my state of mind can-do-all that won him. At the start of our marriage, we agreed to approach parenting As a team, not its rivals. But real life has tested this. Our strong opinions helped us and injured us at different times.

Whether it’s making major decisions, managing crises or settling minor jumps, there is always a tacit competition: which is the strongest?

The victories of having two alpha parents

Most of the time, our children benefit from having two parents who take charge. There are times when our voluntary nature is not only useful, that is what the situation needs.

Like the day I accidentally dislocated my little girl’s wrist. She slipped and I pulled her arm too hard to try to stabilize her. I did not know that something was wrong until she refused to move her hand and cried hard when we touched her. This emergency visit could have been a nightmare, but my husband and I went into action mode. He has not lost time to blame me, and we focused on the procreation of the care she needed. Even if I felt guilty, I knew that wallowing would not be helping. What was stay calm And repair the situation.

Then there was time that our eldest son was faced with certain problems in school. It took us a standing business: pleading, demanding measures and ensuring that the school followed. A softer approach would not have worked in this case. Our perseverance and our refusal to retreat were exactly what was necessary to protect it and hold the other managers.

When two alphas compete

But let’s be real, two alphas under one roof also mean a good part of conflicts.

Since my husband and I are also voluntary, it is difficult for one of us to step back and let the other drive. A big one in recent times is how much freedom To give to our 12 -year -old child. My husband believes that it is necessary to push him towards independence, as to let him do shops alone at the store while he waits outside and teach him the road safety of the years before he is still old enough to drive. Me, however, I want to do his Trip to independence more progressive and structured. At first, I resisted, convinced that it was too early. But after seeing the enthusiasm and confidence of my son grow up under the direction of his father, I finally let go.

Another challenge is that our children are not naturally as assertive as us, and sometimes our intensity can be overwhelming for them. We are moving forward, always in energy and go-go mode, forgetting that they do not necessarily prosper at this rate. We will go home with a long day, and despite being tired, we will always assume another task. One of the children will inevitably ask: “Are you both exhausted?”

And because we rarely show a vulnerability, they sometimes find it difficult to open up to their own emotions.

Lessons we have learned

Thanks to tests and errors, we realized that parenting does not concern victory, it is a question of knowing when to take a step back and let the other take the lead when that makes the most. It is also a question of recognizing that force is not only to advance; It is also a question of knowing when to slow down. If we never show exhaustion, our children might think that they must also bottle their own difficulties.

But for all our stubborn moments, we share the same vision: to raise confidentDisciplined children who know how to stand up. And despite our different but strong approaches, we found our rhythm. I manage the budget and planning; My husband is better for emotional support and creative problem resolution. Whether you choose a school or a new car, we always have strong opinions, but we have learned to respect everyone’s contributions.

In the end, being two alphas means that our household never lacks leadership. This sometimes requires a little more negotiation.