Tell teenagers the difference between desires and needs

Parenting is a constant balancing act. On the one hand, we want to instill important life lessons to our children, such as the value of money and the difference between desires and needs. On the other hand, we want to maintain harmony at home and avoid unnecessary conflicts. The balancing act can be delicate, especially when Parental adolescents.

Recently, my 13 -year -old daughter asked me to buy her a $ 28 phone case. Her former was not broken or exhausted, she was bored. For me, it was a no firm.

It seems simple, but saying “no” in times like this is not easy. The demand was small in the big scheme of things, but I knew there was a greater lesson to teach. But this simple answer opened the door to a much larger Conversation on moneyPriorities, and how we can navigate these moments without stretching our relationship.

Critical thinking is acquired competence

Filling our children is not always easy, especially when the request seems small in terms of money. A $ 28 phone case may not break the bank, but it’s not just money. It is a question of teaching our children to think critically about their expenses, to understand the difference between desires and needsAnd to appreciate what they already have. At the same time, we do not want to appear as too strict or disdainful of their feelings.

In this case, I realized that my daughter’s request did not only concern the case of the phone, it was her desire for something new, trend and exciting. It was important for her, even if it seemed useless to me. After all, to a 13 -year -old child, a new phone affair may look like a big problem, a means of express themselves or integrate with their peers. So how do we find the common ground?

Instead of closing the conversation, I used it as an opportunity to talk about the needs of desires. I explained that we must prioritize what is essential, such as school supplies, appropriate clothes or the economy for significant experiences, on impulsive purchases. But I didn’t stop there.

I too recognized his feelings.

“I understand,” I told him. “Sometimes we just want something new because it’s exciting. I feel it too.” This little moment of empathy softened the conversation and made it more willing to listen to.

Instead of a flat “no”, I suggested a compromise, which I offered it in three parts:

• Win it: I encouraged her to do additional tasks in the house or save part of her allowance if she really wanted the phone.
• Wait: I presented the “24 -hour rule”, a simple strategy where we are waiting for one day before buying something not essential. Often, excitement wears out and the element no longer feels as important.
• Explore alternatives: I also proposed to help him find a similar phone case for less money or check the second -hand options.

This approach did wonders. She felt respected and I felt like I was guiding her in the right direction without giving in impulsively.

The lesson did not end there

This conversation was not part of a phone case, it was a question of equipping my child with the tools to make better financial decisions in the future. To continue this trip, I now prioritize transparency openly Discuss family finances In a way adapted to age, help my children understand that money is not unlimited.

For example, when we do shopping, I show them how to compare prices and explain why we choose certain products rather than others. I also involve them in financial decisions, whether it is a question of planning a major vacation or making a major purchase, by encouraging them to search for options, compare costs and think about means to save money, such as waiting for a sale to buy their favorite pair of jeans or search for offers.

I also promote the habit of saving by giving them a dedicated savings pot for the things they want. This approach taught them the patience, the responsibility and the satisfaction of making thoughtful financial choices.

We focus on empathy and compromises

Parenting is a constant act of balancing, the teaching of values ​​while keeping peace at home is not always easy. Not to buy this case of $ 28 phone was not part of saving money; It was a question of guiding my daughter to Better decision -making Without damaging our relationship.

By showing empathy, by encouraging compromises and transforming small moments into learning experiences, I help it develop a healthy understanding of money and perhaps avoid some stressful moments “no” in the future.

Because sometimes the most precious lessons do not concern money at all, it is connection, respect and learning to navigate the choices of life together.