Take a Tour of New York’s Saddest Building

For the duration of his criminal trial, Donald J. Trump moved back into the penthouse of Trump Tower, on the corner of 5th Avenue and 56th Street. With the owner and former president returning in residence, you would think they would spruce up the neighboring commercial and retail space. You would be wrong. The Daily Beast came by earlier this week for a tour of the “jewel of the Trump Organization.”

FIFTH AVENUE ENTRANCE

The metal barriers occupy half of the sidewalk and serve two purposes: (1) to hold back crowds; and (2) forcing people to cross the avenue if they want a selfie giving Trump Tower the finger.

At least four police officers patrol the residential entrance on 56th Street, but security for entering the public space is lax. During Trump’s presidency, the building required extensive baggage screening by armed officers. Now, a small sign near the entrance reads: “All bags are subject to search by security personnel.”

THE LOBBY

The Trump Organization website boasts: “One of the most notable features of Trump Tower is the breathtaking 60-foot waterfall that graces the east wall of the building. »

Today, it is clear that there is no more water in the waterfall. And a waterfall without water is just a wall. Here is a photo of the second floor looking down:

So much has changed in the eight years since Trump called the tower “home.” Ivanka’s eponymous jewelry store has disappeared. And remember the currency exchange that served as the backdrop for the iconic moment when Melania and Trump walked down the escalator?

It’s gone too.

But let us not long for what is lost. Let’s see what’s there…

GROUND LEVEL

A quick glance from the escalator reveals a familiar figure sitting in the corner of the cafe.

A closer look reveals that it’s simply a Trump cosplayer taking a break.

Currently under construction, Trump Café “will most likely open the second week of May,” said an elderly security guard. Then he waved his hand in a “give or take” gesture, suggesting that even he didn’t believe it would happen.

Trying to help me, the guard pointed me to Trump Sweets which has the full cafe menu.

At the counter stood a woman dressed in a glittery silver outfit. She seemed out of place in New York, where people tend to dress like the woman to her left. Maybe the Silver Lady slipped through a portal that connects Mar-a-Lago to Trump Tower…with that guy in the purple jacket and sunglasses.

Around the corner from Trump Sweets is the Trump Tower gift shop, whose signage could use updating. (Note: 2020 was not a good year for Trump.)

Inside the store is a jumble of Trump-related merchandise.

I asked the salesman to name the most popular gift in the store. He grabbed a deck of $15 Trump presidential playing cards. “We sold 7,000 games,” he said.

Then he fanned a worn deck of cards and recited his worn speech: “Trump is the king. Melania and Ivanka are the queens. And above all, look who the prankster is…”

At the most upscale golf store, there were $5 gold chocolate bars with the Trump logo embossed and a single copy of Don Jr.’s book. Sets off for sale. There’s no way to know if Don Jr. slipped the book in there himself.

SECOND FLOOR

Starbucks left in spring 2022 and was recently replaced by “Nerolab Italian Food Zone”. The slogan of the Rome-based chain is “Nerolab, WHY NOT!” » But a better slogan would be: “It’s better to be in a food zone than in a friend zone.” ” It is RIGHT there. Why not!

OUTDOOR TERRACES

The two public terraces seem definitively closed to the public. The lack of outdoor public space could be a violation of an agreement with the city that traded additional acreage for these gardens. In the smaller outdoor space, what is visible through the window appears sparse and unkempt. Maybe the RNC could pay for a few Trump gardeners and all those lawyers.

The large glass doors that once opened onto a second, larger terrace are now mirrored and locked. This isn’t the first time gloss has replaced transparency in Trumpworld.

ONE FINAL NOTE

On Tuesday, Trump posted: “It was my great honor to welcome former Japanese Prime Minister Tarō Asō – to Trump Tower tonight! » and attached this photo:

The marble and brass background gives class to the image. Meanwhile, on the same day, in another part of Trump Tower, not even marble and brass could hide the trash.

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