Simple ways to get people to listen when you speak: Stanford expert

You’re probably not as good a listener as you think.

Statistically, this is true for most people. Many professionals think they are very attentive, but 70% of them actually exhibit poor listening habits in the workplace, according to a 2020 report from the University of Southern California. So you have to be smart if you want to capture someone’s attention, explains Matt Abrahams, communications consultant and professor of organizational behavior at Stanford University.

This is a lesson Abrahams learned, in part, during his lectures. Polite requests for his students’ attention fell on deaf ears, drowned out by their “chatter,” he told CNBC Make It.

Here are the two ways he recommends ordering a part.

You are in a meeting room and chatting with colleagues. One of your company’s executives approaches the front of the room, stands behind a podium, and looks at the group. Chances are you’ll stop talking.

“One of the best things you can do to get attention and get people to shut up is to just stand in front of them and not say anything,” says Abrahams. “Just to physically get up in a position where everyone can see you.”

It only takes four seconds for silence to become awkward, according to a Dutch psychology study published in 2011. It might feel uncomfortable, too, but awkwardness alone “usually attracts people,” says Abrahams.

While you wait, you can try to control your breathing or clear your mind. “It is very difficult to remain silent, but it can be very useful,” he adds.

Saying something impactful or thought-provoking without warning can have a similar effect, says Abrahams.

“Last Monday we were talking (in class) about nonverbal presence. They’re all talking and I stood there for a while. And then I said, ‘The way you say something is often just as important or more important , than what you say.” you say,” Abrahams said. “And then I paused, and they kept dragging, and then I said it again. And then everyone shut up.”

Simply put, don’t ask for control, just demonstrate it. You can also try other tactics, like starting a big presentation with a question or playing music before an event starts, which signals that something else is about to happen, says Abrahams.

“Just exercising that control, either by asking a question, remaining silent, or saying some sort of declarative, provocative sentence, will help people (listen),” he says. “You might have to repeat yourself once or twice, but that’s what I do.”

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