Raising my teenagers felt personal, but I learned to dig more deeply

• When my children were small, I would never have imagined that we were making heads.
• I quickly learned that parental adolescents are difficult.
• It took me years not to take what they said personally.

Parental adolescents are not for timid. When my children were born, I had a photo in my mind of the way they would turn into adults large and loving. I did not see us hitting our heads at any time because my heart was full in all the good ways that I could feed them.

However, years have passed and my two daughters are Plus small children than they were once. These are opinion adults who fight for independence, and no one denies them.

Their Adolescence was particularly memorableEspecially because it was difficult to prepare for the assault of emotions that came out of nowhere.

Parental adolescents are difficult

Any parent of a teenager knows The pain of being rejected and repelled by their child. But it was not the biggest challenges I met.

The only thing that happens to my soul is as follows: like my Children hit their teenagersThey were so busy with their school work and their friends that I barely seen them for days. When we connected, it would only be because I stuck them.

For a few moments, we were talking about their days and challenges, and they would say my advice. But these phases were short -lived and overshadowed by shout and scream Because they did not like their curfew, their new rules of the house or the fact that they had to do some tasks.

Of course, these things have led to misunderstandings, which led children to say things like “I hate you”, “you are the worst father of all time” and “I never want to talk to you again.” They often wondered why I couldn’t be as “cool as other dads”.

These words went to the heart, and I remember never being appreciated for my efforts as a father. It always seemed that my teenagers had a model; If they were bellicose, something happened with their friends and I let them get away a little more.

If they were obedient, I knew they were guilty of something and I would tighten the reins. Constant parenting “Catch me if you can” have parentality has been personal. I had many moments of doubt when I was wondering if I was really doing a good job.

My wife and I constantly recall that we were doing our best, especially when we wanted to connect with children, but they built walls that we could not reach.

A painful memory comes to my mind, when my daughters forced to be deposited at a pâté of school houses. They clearly indicated that they did not want anyone who saw their father because I embarrassed them.

It was particularly disappointing because I darled the trip to school. I thought it was one of the best ways to connect, but they didn’t see it that way.

I had to learn not to take things personally

It took me years to stop taking what my children say personally. Some comments went to the heart, but parenting brings good with difficult, and it took a lot of inner work to choose to forget them.

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Adolescents want things in their conditions; It is the nature of their interactions. I would approach situations with this fact in mind.

I found it better to leave them quiet when they were not delicious to speak or answer questions. There is no point in having meaningless conversations. Give them space encourages them to finally come to you.

Often, when my teenagers told me that they were adults, I said it and I said they could do what they wanted when they lived independently, but under my house, they should follow our rules.

The most important lesson I have learned is patience. Being patient with your teenagers means understanding their anger attacks and mood swings. It is also a question of reassuring them throughout their trip.

As a growing adults, my children apologize for the things they have said out of anger. Maybe they start to get the concept of time slowly and how it goes quickly for all of us or enjoying their parents. My love for them has never weakened despite all the difficult times.