Psychologist explains why ‘solo sex’ is an overlooked self-care tool

Cultural, religious, and societal norms have long portrayed masturbation as a shameful or immoral act, leading many people to feel guilty or embarrassed about engaging in it. This stigma, particularly harsh on women, is deeply rooted in historical misconceptions and misinformation that casts personal pleasure in a negative light.

However, solo sex is a natural and healthy part of human sexuality and incorporating it into self-care routines can be an empowering practice. Beyond physical pleasure, self-pleasure offers numerous benefits for psychological and physical health.

Here are two powerful benefits of indulging in self-pleasure, according to one study.

1. It sparks positive emotions during stressful times

A 2024 study published in the International Journal of Sexual Health examined women’s personal pleasure as a coping tool and found that higher levels of psychological distress were associated with higher frequency of clitoral self-stimulation. The researchers found that regardless of the mode of stimulation, it was a useful coping strategy, facilitating positive emotional states such as happiness and relaxation.

“Masturbation is a safe, free, and accessible form of sexual activity that is not dependent on availability or emotional interaction with another person. As a solo activity, it is less likely to raise concerns about performance or evaluation that may arise during sexual activities with a partner. Instead, women can focus fully on themselves,” the researchers write.

This freedom from pressure can be especially beneficial during times of stress, when one may already feel overwhelmed by expectations in other areas of one’s life. It can also promote a sense of empowerment if a person feels a lack of control over their current situation. This serves as a reminder that individuals have power over their own bodies and can experience pleasure and emotional relief independent of external factors.

Engaging in self-pleasure can also improve mental and physical health by improving mood, helping with stress relief, sleep and pain management.

2. It helps you connect with your body

Self-pleasure can play a vital role in self-discovery and the experience of bodily autonomy. It allows individuals to explore their bodies, learn what gives them pleasure, and communicate their sexual needs and preferences to their partners. This process promotes a deeper connection with your body.

Additionally, research shows that being “sexually mindful,” which involves nonjudgmental awareness and full presence during sexual experiences, is associated with greater sexual satisfaction and self-esteem. This highlights the importance of slowing down to connect with yourself as well as your partner.

A 2022 study published in Sexuality and culture also found that higher frequency of masturbation is associated with lower levels of body shame and body guilt as well as greater appreciation of one’s body. This healing effect on body image can significantly improve mental health.

Importantly, researchers in the 2024 study note that when using self-pleasure as a coping strategy, it is important to think about the motive behind its use. Actively using it as a self-care tool alongside other emotional coping skills is more beneficial than using it only to distract yourself in distressing times without addressing its challenges.

Solo sex is a natural and beneficial practice that deserves to be recognized as a valuable self-care tool. By addressing and dismantling the stigma surrounding masturbation, we can pave the way for more enlightened and accepted societal attitudes towards it. It’s time to break the silence, have honest conversations about sexual health and wellness, and appreciate the role of personal pleasure in our well-being.

Curious about your attitude towards your own sexuality? Try this scale to better understand: Brief Sexual Attitudes Scale