Salads are full of all sorts of ingredients. Kale, chickpeas, avocado… Starbursts?
Yes, the TikTok candy salad trend is everywhere: friends and family are pouring piles of different types of candy into large bowls. But many are adding a personal touch to the activity. In addition to throwing candy, they’re also getting rid of their trauma.
“My name is Jess, and I got robbed at gunpoint on my way home from a first date, and then the guy made me disappear,” one video began, before Jess dropped some gummies into a bowl. “When I was four, my parents left me in the backseat of a hot car. It took them two hours to realize they forgot about me,” another person said in another video before mixing up the Nerds groups. Some videos included laughter. Others let the gritty, high-stakes stories linger in silence.
People do whatever they want on social media, but is going public with your trauma the best way to deal with it? Mental health experts say it can be helpful to release some emotions, but not every sad or upsetting story should be conflated with the word “trauma” in the first place.
“Finding ways to cope with traumatic events is unique to each individual,” says Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “Sharing your experience and feeling cared for can be incredibly healing during difficult times. There’s nothing wrong with finding laughter or lightness when going through a painful event, as long as it doesn’t involve avoiding your feelings.”
The ‘Catharic’ Trend of Candy Salad to Get Rid of Trauma
The term “trauma” often refers to someone who has been exposed to, or threatened with, death, serious injury, or sexual violence. Witnessing or learning about such trauma, or experiencing it vicariously as a first responder, for example, is also what is being discussed here. Trauma can take many forms, but it should not be confused with difficult phases or emotionally challenging times.
“It’s important not to confuse traumatic experiences with distressing, upsetting, and stressful experiences,” says Dr. Shaili Jain, a post-traumatic stress disorder specialist, trauma expert, and author of “The Unspeakable Mind.” Trauma doesn’t refer to a bad breakup, job stress, financial stress, or a dysfunctional family. “It’s misleading to conflate the two and trivialize the experience of trauma survivors.”
This is not to say that people can’t talk openly about the horrible things that have happened to them. In fact, it can serve as a tangible coping mechanism. Especially when there is some humor involved, as it can help people talk if they have been worried. Hence the candy salad.
“Rituals like making candy salad with friends and sharing it on social media can be cathartic,” says Alice Shepard, a clinical psychologist and owner of Mirielle Therapy Practice. “It’s like writing a letter to an ex or a parent who’s passed away, then reading it out loud and tearing it up. It’s a way of processing grief and anger and saying that I’m taking control of something unpleasant that happened to me and making it a little bit sweeter and more bearable.”
As long as that’s the case, videos aren’t a bad idea. They can “provide an opportunity to regain some control over the incident, and in that way, they can be effective in helping someone overcome a difficult experience.”
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“Our own version”
Not all of the videos tell sad, traumatic stories. One of them features a group of lesbian friends sharing something very powerful about themselves that screams lesbian.
“It was just our way of putting our own spin on it,” says Ashley Alder, who posted the video. As for the broader trend, she finds it interesting that people are using the term “trauma release” when they’re simply interacting with people they trust.
Alder asks, “Is this getting rid of trauma? Or is it just being vulnerable with your friends?”
Regardless, “these quick videos are a bold statement that this is me and this happened to me,” Shepard says. “Viewers laugh, cry, and cringe. By connecting to their own lives, viewers feel a shared sense of emotional kinship and relief.”
Trauma Evacuation:When your exchanges become “toxic” for your friends
How to deal with trauma differently
Not a fan of the candy salad trend or looking for other ways to cope with trauma? Try these tips.
- Take care of yourself. In addition to spending time with loved ones, people should eat balanced meals and get enough sleep, Johnson says. They can also consider reducing stress and keeping a journal.
- Let time pass. “The vast majority of humans who experience a traumatic event recover naturally, with time and the support of family and friends,” Jain says.
- Seek therapy. There’s nothing wrong with finding a therapist who can help you work through something that’s eating away at you. “Therapy helps people make sense of what happened,” Shepard adds, “to understand the conscious and unconscious effects of trauma on them, and to get them out of a stuck situation where harmful patterns are repeating themselves.”
And next time you come across one of these clips, if you feel safe, think about what you would say before you spill some candy into a bowl. You might just find some camaraderie there.
“These videos address feelings of invisibility, isolation, and debilitating self-judgment,” Shepard says. “Ultimately, people want to feel seen and heard, and have their individual life experiences fully recognized and valued.”
Plus, if you’re trying this recipe at home, peanut M&Ms are the best ingredient for any candy salad. Trust us.
News Source : www.usatoday.com
Gn Health
