People cannot easily say my name, some do not try. Now I correct them.

My grandfather appointed Me Nishtha, a Sanskrit word which means loyalty and commitment. This is not a name that you will probably hear by the way. Even in India, it is not very popular. The only time I hear is when the leaders take an oath to serve the nation “with Nishtha” (unwavering loyalty).

This rarity has always made me feel special, as if my name bore silent power. But that also meant a life of hesitation before the presentations, to look at my name to be reshaped, badly pronouncedAnd reduced until it is unrecognizable.

The first of many false false false

The first time I heard my name made badly, I was too young to know that I could push back.

It was my first day in a new school. I was a shy and anxious child, grabbing the edge of my office, counting the seconds until I had to introduce myself. But the professor jumped just after this opportunity, directly to roll.

And then she stopped.

“Nis … Nees … Nista … How do you say that?” She asked, her eyes shrinking with confusion.

I could feel the other children watch me. “It’s Nishtha,” I said quietly. “‘Ni, like the first nickel sound, Sh like the sweet but clear sound in the shoe, and Tha, with a strong explosion of air.”

She tried again, always badly, then raised her shoulders and continued. She didn’t even bother to continue trying to do things well. Almost all teachers did the same. Some asked if they said it well. Some have not done so. And after a while, I just stopped correction them.

I moved a lot, seven schools, four cities over ten years, so I heard all the possible version of my name. In one place, I have become Nishka. In another, Nishitha. Sometimes the children called me Nashtha, which means breakfast in Hindi, and laughs as if it was the most original thing they have ever been able to.

Each mispronunciation I chipped myself, but I told myself that it did not matter. Until this is the case.

Moving abroad has brought a new level of erasure

When I Irely moved to Ireland For my master, my name was not simply badly pronounced, it was erased.

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People called me Nish, Niz, or everything that was easier for them. At the beginning, I corrected them. I smiled, I repeated it slowly and gave them a chance. I knew how difficult some names were pronounce. Irish names were also difficult for me, but I always asked for clarification, and I continued to ask until I did them – it was important to me

Some people have made the effort, and it looked like a small victory. But most did not do it.

I then started to present myself with a version that I knew they could say. Nisha was quite simple, so I used it at work. When ordering take -out meals, I became Nessa, because I was tired of repeating myself by phone. It was easier that way, right? Less clumsy breaks, less forced smiles.

Once, during a party, I presented myself as Nesta. It was the name of a character from a book that obsessed me at the time. If I was going to change my name for their convenience, I thought I could also choose one that I really liked. But every time I was doing this, I felt like I went smaller.

“I’m just going to call you n”

During a holiday season, I worked a retail work when a colleague turned to me and said to me: “I am terrible with namesSo I’m just going to call you N. The store is busy, and it’s faster for me this way. “”

It was not a question. She did not trip on my name. She has not tried to fail. She just decided that it was too much effort and reduced it to a single letter. Like my name, my identity, who I was – all of this took up too much space for her.

I should have corrected it. I should have said something. Instead, I let it happen.

That night, lying in bed, replaying the moment, I felt angry. Not just her. To myself. Why did I let people shrink my name? Why did I go smaller for their convenience?

My name is significant

What is in a name? More than you think.

My name is my story. He carries the weight of generations. This is my grandfather’s gift for me. These are my roots. It’s not too long. Not too hard. Not yours to cut, twist or erase.

If I can show you respect by learning your name, you can do the same for me.

These are just three syllables. Not nish. Not N. Nishtha. And now I will correct you until you succeed.