Parents do not cut their short trip despite the teenage crisis

Dear Eric: My wife’s brother “SID” and his wife recently left for a six-week trip abroad, leaving their 14-year-old son, “Bobby”, at home with his grandfather, who speaks very little about English.

They left no instruction with anyone in an emergency.

My wife and I are close to Bobby. Last week, he had a mental break. He called us, and we took him to see his doctor who, after asking a number of questions, asked us to take him to the hospital’s psychological district.

Bobby was then transferred to a behavioral health clinic, where he is currently patient.

My wife and I pleaded with Sid to go home because his son needed him. Social workers, the doctor of Bobby and his advisers also tried to persuade Sid and his wife to go home, to no avail. He ignored my messages and spoke to his sister twice to register.

To see Bobby like that is to kill us, and I can barely control my anger to Sid and his wife. What should I, if necessary, say when they come back from their trip?

– Furious uncle

Dear uncle: I should think that social workers and doctors will have a lot to say to Sid and his wife, probably before I have the chance to talk to them.

Bobby is clearly in crisis and their contempt is not only insane, but strongly suggests a disturbing house life.

Because you are close to Bobby and you intensified when the parents did not do it, I think you should say what you think – that you are angry, that you worry, that you do not understand their actions.

What seems more important than ventilation, however, is to make sure they know, and Bobby knows, that he has a defender.

Please also stay in touch with social workers. If Bobby is neglected at home, he will continue to need someone like you to defend him.

Dear Eric: I have a plot Food allergies and sensitivities that include articles that do not have to be claimed as allergens by the CDC / FDA on the lists of ingredients.

One of the most frustrating things on this subject is to try to explain my very boring plate of simple lettuce without dressing, which is often the only reliable menu that I can order when I eat with friends / acquaintances.

The worst symptom that occurs if I eat bad food is anaphylaxis; The most common symptom is serious migraines. The migraines are always preceded by losing my vision essentially for an hour during the phase will have, and once left untreated, can become quite bad.

I largely control migraines through a very limited diet. I am on drugs for depression, and these do not always mix well with the drug migraines, so avoid triggers is my best option.

I generally avoid social rallies to prevent people from arguing the forehead and ask me if the lettuce usually withering is all that I eat (I like as many steak potatoes and rare jacket as the next person, I simply cannot believe that the way the cook is preparing will not start a migraine). When I have lunch with colleagues, I always refuse to order unless I know that the place has food reliably that will not trigger problems.

I feel frequently or I feel as if I do a lot of food problems, which is why I avoid food gatherings as much as possible.

If I have fun and ignore my food needs, I become horribly ill. If I eat what is certain, there are invariably a lot of annoying questions about the reasons why I do not eat, and I must defend my public food choices with the response of “strange allergies and I do not need to need life medications today”.

I don’t know what is the best approach here.

– Confused migrant

Dear migraine: Deprive you from the food you want and the company seems to me to be the worst option. So let’s see the solutions that allow you to feel good while keeping the social oddity at a distance.

People tend to have a lot of opinions on what others eat, unfortunately. But you will be useful to crop the way you think of these interactions. Your allergies can be bizarre for others (or even for you), but you don’t have to operate in their story on you.

In response to invasive questions, try these scripts:

Short and sweet: “doctor’s orders”.

Spicy and sassy: “There are surely more interesting things for us to talk about than what is on my plate.”

Clais and Sain: “I’m happy; don’t worry.”

I know it’s boring to get these questions, but try to work on your answers less like a defense and more as a personal choice. You can be helpless for allergies, but you have an agency on what you choose to share.

You don’t make a big problem here; It seems that you were clear and even too accommodating when browsing public events. Sometimes, with plates and with conversations, the less it is more.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askinric.com or Po Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @ouric and register for his weekly newsletter in Rercthomas.com.