NYPD orders character actor task force after Steve Buscemi beating on ‘SNL’ season finale

Saturday Night Live closed out its 49th season with a sketch in which the New York Police Department ordered security for cast members in the Big Apple, taking into account that a homeless man punched the long-time sidekick Adam Sandler’s date Steve Buscemi earlier this month.

Host Jake Gyllenhaal, as a police sergeant, took inspiration from the random attack on a Brooklyn street to launch the new task force of easily recognizable, but indistinguishable actors, dubbed “the Organization for prevent harmful incidents in Manhattan” or “Oh, him.” .”

“Summer is approaching and we are seeing an increase in random acts of violence on our streets. Just this week, national treasure Steve Buscemi was hit while driving through Kips Bay,” Gyllenhaal said at a press conference, perfectly impersonating a born and raised New York cop.

“These types of attacks cannot and will not be tolerated,” he added.

Buscemi’s attacker punched him in the face on the morning of May 8 – causing the former FDNY firefighter’s eye to suffer “bleeding, swelling, bruising and significant pain” – before walking away flippantly.

While shocking, the incident is far from isolated: It comes three years after Rick Moranis was struck while walking on the Upper West Side, and just a month after co-star Michael Stuhlbarg from Buscemi’s “Boardwalk Empire”, was also randomly targeted by a rock. Homeless welder on the Upper East Side.

“Oh, that guy!” The crowd of reporters cooed as Stuhlbarg’s face appeared on the NYPD screen, with Heidi Gardner adding that she could never find his name: “I always want to call him Tom something.”

Gyllenhaal brought attention back to the problem at hand: “actors are being targeted.”

“Simply put, these are actors whose faces you can remember, but whose names you can’t remember,” he explained.

“So, if you’ve ever been on the TV series Boardwalk Empire, you might be an actor. You have a face that makes casting directors say, “Oh, interesting.” Your IMDB page has over 100 entries, but all of your characters only have a first name. You already did a three-episode arc on a TV show where the title was just letters,” he continued, turning to a screen listing Big Apple classics “SVU” and “NCIS.” .

Don’t worry, Gyllenhaal explained, the NYPD was on the scene.

“We offer protection to actors who we know are in danger. We have entrusted security to Stephen Root. We ask that you avoid public transportation if you play a girlfriend on “Seinfeld” or a boyfriend on “Sex in the City.” And we asked Paul Giamatti to shelter in place.

The lengthy process of protecting the beloved but hard-to-identify actors is all the responsibility of the aptly named “Oh, Him” task force.

Gyllenhaal then discussed a series of actors who should be on alert, but whose names he had difficulty placing, including “this lady” Judy Greer, “this guy, he’s in everything” Walton Goggins and “of course” Stephen Tobolowsky.

“Oh! I want to say his name is Tim, something! Gardner repeated.

“It’s Stephen Tobolowsky. I just said it,” Gyllenhaal replied exhaustedly.

“Mad Men” star Jon Hamm made a surprise appearance in the sketch, asking Gyllenhaal, “Should an actor like Jon Hamm be worried?”

“I can’t take hits,” Hamm said. “Without this handsome face, I’m just a big man with a perfect body.”

“No, I think you’re fine,” Gyllenhaal joked.