Dear Amy: It may be my profession that makes me a little salty, but I hope you can reframe or share some thoughts on this irritation.
When the pandemic started, everyone was sent to work from home.
All most people could do was complain about the difficulty of the situation. Being a nurse and head of a medical unit, I obviously did not have the opportunity to work from home. I also didn’t have any “boring” days like so many people have complained about.
Now, three years later, many people have settled into working from home and are loving it.
Now they complain about having to go to an office several times a month.
Speaking for most of us in healthcare (and any service industry), I really wish people could appreciate their situation.
To make every setting or work situation a complaint is abhorrent to those of us who don’t have these luxurious options.
Your opinion ?
— Salty Nurse
Dear Sale: I want to thank you for your service, as well as the invitation to reflect on and potentially reframe a category of human inquiry that we should be grateful for: post-pandemic issues.
So let me start by removing the smallest violin in the world from its case and playing a plaintive tune for anyone who has the temerity to complain to a health care or service worker about the burden of being called back to the office multiple times per month.
Now for the reframing: we are back! We begin to neglect our obvious lucky ones again (we are alive, as one) and already begin to take for granted the simple privilege of being able to visit, touch, hug and kiss each other.
We have returned to our habit of whitewashing our small complaints, even if the rest of the world is on fire.
Your burden is also your blessing: while others complain about the long line at Starbucks, you are already wide awake and inhabiting your salty humanity.
You have my permission to remind others to put their problems into perspective.
Dear Amy: I am a recently married woman in my mid 20’s looking for a new job.
Recently, during an interview with a local private school, I was asked about my pregnancy plans. The question was whether I had a “plan to balance kids with work.”
I said coldly, “My husband and I have talked about it, and we’re not worried.
I was offered the job but didn’t take it because of this issue, along with a ‘no pants’ policy for women.
When I told the company I was refusing the job, I explained my reasons to them, as well as including a link to the EEOC on pregnancy discrimination, which included a recommendation NOT to ask this question during the interviews. They responded with a general response wishing me good luck in the future.
Was there a better way to handle it?
—K
Dear K: A “no pants” policy? Wouldn’t that bother the kids?
(I thought only TV presenters could get away with being “pantless” at work.)
Joking aside, your choice to refuse this position was obviously the right one. Your follow-up was appropriate.
Here is the information from the EEOC that I assume you linked to: “Federal law does not prohibit employers from asking you if you are or intend to become pregnant. However, as such questions may indicate a possible intent to discriminate on the grounds of pregnancy, we recommend that employers avoid such questions.
In the future, when asked about your family planning in a job interview, you might respond, “I’m curious: why are you asking? »
The interviewer would likely offer a benign-sounding explanation. If after that, you’re still interested in a job at that particular workplace, then you can respond and distract by saying, “I have an exceptional work ethic.”
Since this question about balancing babies was asked in an actual school, you might have answered, “Since I’m going to be working with children, all of the work is balancing children and work.” I’m looking forward to that.”
Dear Amy: I linked to the question of “Stop haunting my dreams”. Like this person, I had recurring dreams. Mine are related to the university (I left just before receiving my diploma).
I agree with you that it’s the subconscious trying to come full circle on unfinished business.
– In my dreams
Dear in my dreams: My recurring college dreams involve arriving in the wrong class to pass my finals. I’m still trying to solve this problem.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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