Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour
Promoter: Nintendo is the worst
Editor: Nintendo’s recklessness
I thought that leaving the costs on the standardization of a basic price of $ 80 for so -called “AAA” video games was a new hollow for Nintendo. You can imagine my surprise when, the launch day of the Switch 2, the company proved that it could look even lower.
With Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour, they sank under the whore of the earth. I would not believe it if I had not used Nintendo points saved to attend the Gal Premium demo In my opinion.
They load ten dollars For a glorified user manual. More specifically, they sell the type of introductory technological demo which is normally delivered with a new console in standard. Just to make things more insulting, it’s worse than any technological demo. In fact, it’s incredibly shit.
As I describe Nintendo pathetic Excuse of a user guide paid, I need that you remember something important – the astro games room is preloaded on each PS5 and it is such a charming, impressive showcase A full video game by popular demand.
No one in their good sense would want to see anything in rotation of the Nintendo bonus point. I wouldn’t mind seeing him turn in the air after being launched in a fucking trash can, but other than that should rot forever.
The only really impressive thing about Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour is how it makes the Nintendo Switch 2 really. Its pure ineptie is incredibly counterproductive.
Latable audiovisual presentation, a total lack of character, mini-games in creative bankruptcy which are dated even according to the standards of flash browser games. The lack of effortless effort in this scam could not do the worst work to express the console if he tried – not that he entertain the notion of trying.
Or, you know, never be entertained.
Welcome Tour presents itself as a sterile museum installed at the top of a giant switch 2.. The first thing you do is choose an avatar in a range of generic faceless people, because even if we had personalized Nintendo avatars for years, incorporating the MIIS was apparently too good from an idea.
The indistinct cyphers that we obtain instead of all Nintendo characters are so aggressively generic that they could just as well be generated by AI. Presented with all charm, Welcome Tour looks like something explicitly designed to be a experience as joy as possible.
Joy is a current theme. Everything is sterile and threadbar, supported by incessant loop elevator music and barely no other sounds. It is before arriving at the interactive elements, which are so poor that they are embarrassing.
You are stuck on one of the Joy-Con controllers until you cry with each of its components and press a button. This is how you progress in your tour, and it is exactly as exciting as it may seem. It is at least less miserable than what constitutes the vast majority of the content – small information of information followed by trivial quiz.
Yeah, it’s really incredible, really. Condescending quiz of three or four questions about the boring things you just read, that’s what most of it is. They charge ten dollars for this.
Access to a large part of the tower do Allow you to play. Whatever the Modicum of amusement, you could eliminate the welcome tour has been arbitrarily controlled and rationed, as if to hammer how lamentable it is supposed to be.
The mini-games manage to be even worse, so much so that it is difficult not to consider them as self-sabotage. I am not exaggerating when I compare them to the old web games – the mouse controls of the Switch 2 are displayed via the one that is literally on Google as a filling. You slide a small shabby spacecraft to avoid clipart gifs of thorny balls, and you are supposed to be seduced by it.
A “game” stains you by moving the controller back and forth until you felt him scolding, and that’s it. No, it’s seriously the whole game.
Each demo is ugly and amateur, with zero consideration for the way rudimentary non-effects are horrible that appearance of Switch 2. Again, I remind you, the astro games room was free. It is a purchase, and it seems that the children did. Really stupid children.
By the way, if you never design a premium demo for a new console, consider not Put a “game” where you guess users between 120 images per second and a lower category without showing the relevant images next to the other – WThumb, it comes up against 60 images per second, there will be people who are mistaken, and they will think that your senior executives are not so good.
The Welcome Tour frame demorate reveals a ridiculously risk inherent in the entire product. All users will not be correct these challenges, how one of the two unwanted things will happen – they will feel frustrated by their inability to appreciate their new console or, more likely, they will conclude that the console is not as remarkable as it.
This is why it is important for a technological demo of avoid Being a modest trash can simply boast of the quality of everything. Presenting individual features in boring isolation will not make a single component of the console or feel exciting.
Games like Wii Sports and Astro’s Playroom did not just have components, they made these components fun, which is really interested in customers. contextualized The characteristics made them engaging and spared them to be too examined.
Demonstration of fireworks where you activate and deactivate HDR uses colors and lighting so bad that the effect is almost imperceptible. Its large final fireworks seem identical between HDR and SDR. It’s not just me – I saw people who are becoming disappointed with HDR as a concept thanks to the presentation of Welcome Tour.
It is difficult not to think of all the miserable blow as malicious. Load for an interactive user manual is sufficiently disgusting in itself, but being as halfway halfway half as Nintendo was really appalling. This is the first time that I have been really shocked by the audacity of the game industry for more than a decade.
In addition, until they returned to a patch, you could not collect all the medals if you had not bought all the additional devices and you had a 4K TV. To think, a technological demo that requires … uh, I guess we would call it No– Downloadable content? It is a spectacular level of contempt.
Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour could be the the most lazy Damn, an editor, never left. I do not care that the use of the word is considered to be a bad shape. This terrible paying tutorial is inexcusably lazy In addition to being simply inexcusable to start.
The only Welcome Tour thing welcomed us in a brand new breed of Garbageware.
