DEAR ABBY: I am a 35 year old married woman, mother of two daughters aged 3 and 1. About a year ago, a couple our age moved in across the street. They have two boys aged 3 and 11 months.
Although we have formed a friendship with this family, I find it very uncomfortable when the family leaves our house and the father kisses my children on the cheek. The mother doesn’t do it.
I want it to stop, but I don’t know how to fix it.
— Embarrassing in the East
DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: The way to fix this would be to tell your neighbor that you would prefer if they didn’t kiss your children. Period.
You are their mother, and asserting yourself in this role is part of your job.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a widow. I supported my husband throughout our marriage without help from his wealthy parents.
My husband died before his father. After my father-in-law died, I received nothing. My sister-in-law told me she would give me $5,000, but she would invest it for me and give it to me after I retired.
Well, that was 10 years ago. I just retired. When I asked her, she claimed she had no memory of it and became angry with me for the request. I argued and said I hated her “stingy” family, and she hung up on me.
Should I ask him for money again?
— BROKEN PROMISE IN MICHIGAN
DEAR PROMISE: No. Unless the promise made by your husband’s sister is in writing, you have no way of getting the money back. Asking it again won’t help. I’m sorry.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 14 year old first generation Polish American with a very Polish family. I don’t have many problems, but I just changed schools, and no one cares enough about learning how to pronounce my name, including the teachers.
I was named after a family member and that name has a lot of history, so my parents don’t want to Americanize it. But correcting people without results becomes tiring.
What started as a small problem now makes me feel torn between my Polish and American identities.
Is it worth it to disappoint my parents to make things a little easier?
— AGNIESZKA IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR AGNIESZKA: What would be worth it would be to explain to your teachers and friends the story behind your name.
Shakespeare wrote: “What’s in a name? What we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. In this case, there are many things behind your name, including the memory of a woman who was dearly loved by your family. This fact deserves respect. If your teachers don’t understand, maybe your parents can explain it to them.
PS Agnieszka is a beautiful name. Phonetically, it sounds like ann-YES-ka, which has a musical quality. Lots of people have nicknames, and if your peers pick one you like, so be it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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