My wife left me ‘to find herself’

DEAR ABBY: After 28 years, my wife left me “to find herself”. She says she doesn’t want a divorce; she just needs time and space to work on herself, but she also wants to work on our marriage. She won’t talk to me, text me or contact me.

My question is: how are we supposed to work on our contactless marriage? What am I supposed to do? I love her, but she avoids me and everyone, including her friends and family. All she wants is to work and be alone in her apartment. — ALONE IN THE EAST

DEAR LONELY: When you asked how your wife planned to work on your marriage if you didn’t see each other, communicate (or use marriage counseling), you asked a relevant question. She can’t have it both ways, nor does she seem willing to fix whatever caused her to leave your marriage in the first place.

Ask her if she is interested in advice. If she is not, please Get a referral to a therapist now for emotional support for yourself. If you do this, you will be able to more quickly determine what your next steps should be.

DEAR ABBY: Two of my children contracted pink eye. The doctor assured us that after 24 hours of treatment with antibiotics, they would no longer be contagious. Reassured, we isolated them for 24 hours and continued our plans to visit the family as initially planned.

I later learned that a few days after we left, three of my nephews, with whom my sons often played, all had pink eyes. I apologized, but I still feel guilty. We did everything the doctors recommended, but we still gave it to others. Is there anything else I can do to compensate for this? — PINK WITH GUILT

DEAR ROSE: A large box of chocolates could soften the bitter aftertaste of your visit to this family. Or go online and search for “Ice Cream Club of the Month.” If you do, you’ll find several companies that guarantee frozen deliveries nationwide. Include a message on the card: “Apologies for pink eye.” (And make sure one of the flavors is strawberry to enhance your feelings.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14 year old boy living with my parents. Due to religious constraints, I wasn’t going to be allowed to date until I was 16. This policy recently changed, although my parents still force me to.

My problem is there’s this girl. She’s my sister’s best friend. I met her when she came to hang out with my sister. I’m afraid that if I wait, she will disappear from my life. Plus, I’m afraid it will be awkward with my sister. What should I do? — LOVESICK IN UTAH

DEAR LOVESICK: Your parents enforce these rules and, at least for now, you have to follow them. If this girl is friendly with your sister, she will not leave your life. That’s why, if you’re as smart as I think you are, you’ll make an effort to just be “friends” with her. Just friends. If you do, as you get to know each other better, you might form a more lasting relationship than if you were to act on her now. I wish you good luck.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

New York Post

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