My teenager pushed the limits; A trip resets our relationship

• In 2020, my daughter asked me if I would take her to Paris at the age of 13.
• But when she was 13 years old, she started to get into trouble and push the limits.
• I stayed at my agreement, and the trip was what we needed to reset our relationship.

In 2020, when my daughter was 9 years old, in the heart of the covid-19 locking, she asked if I would take him to Paris When she was 13 years old.

At the time, she had a new obsession with everything about French. I just had left my 15 year old wedding And was single for the first time in 20 years. I said to myself – 13 is at four years old, why not say yes and give my child what they wanted?

“Yes,” I said. “I would love it.”

Four years later, she was 13 years old and immediately asked: “So, are we going to Paris?”

I couldn’t disappoint it

I panicked. I had just bought a new house, raised two teenagers as Single mother on one incomeAnd weren’t financially stable enough to make an international trip. However, there was no way I could disappoint it.

“Yes, let’s do it.”

Flash forward at the beginning of 2024, I bought Affordable plane tickets In Paris and started saving each dollar to afford food and accommodation. We planned to go there in September after the Olympic Games in Paris. I didn’t know what summer was to bring.

I had always been very close to my daughter, but when she was 13 years old, she moved almost overnight – my sweet little girl became a disobedient – A shot, I know.

I myself had been a difficult teenager. I was expelled from the Catholic school at the age of 13, among other indiscretions. My daughter knew these stories. I was proud of my rebellious youth and I feared that it came back to haunt me.

And it did.

His behavior was not great

She moved schools in the middle of the seventh year, bored by her little primary school. Immediately, due to the social pressure and the need to belong, she fell with a popular girl who made doubtful life choices. My daughter started smoking marijuana, sneaking without my knowing, lie and becomes more and more unworthy of confidence. We fought. We discussed. He continued for months.

“You are not so cold, mom.”

As summer progressed and that she embarked on a more disturbing behavior, I was wondering if she deserved to go to Paris. It was a privilege to travel to Paris. I fought with the decision. One day, she even asked me: “Are you going to cancel Paris because of all this?”

I didn’t do it.

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The trip was what we needed

We went to Paris and she turned out to be a mature and adventurous traveler. Knowing the little Frenchman, she entered stores alone, always politely speaking the little French she knew. She encouraged us to rent bikes and ride in the animated Parisian streets, her headphones in an ear and Kendrick Lamar pumping her bass through her body while she was passing by the Seine river.

She liked to get into the metro, sit in cafes, try snail, sip champagne and watch the Moulin Rouge dancers. She particularly liked French boys of college outside the skate shop in the marsh district. She loved picnics in the park and was impressed by Rodin’s sculptures.

The trip was exactly what we needed to change our relationship. I did not turn my teenage daughter when she challenged me. I didn’t punish her much (just enough), but I kept the communication open and I didn’t take this trip to Paris simply because she broke my confidence. I trust that the trip could be a way to strengthen our connection as it has grown and experienced independence.

Beyond that, she was able to discover the world outside the United States, which is extremely beneficial for any adolescent. Getting out of his comfortable life in a foreign country did not help him achieve the importance of the family and resolved our conflicts as a mother and daughter.

The trip has changed the way she saw herself, the world and her peer group and improved our relationship. Upon her return, she stopped smoking pot, abandoned the bad friends and won my confidence. Today, we are even closer to the approach of another big stage: the school.

Coming back from school, I asked him: “Why did you want to go to Paris?”

She replied: “I don’t know. I mean, is it Paris. Who wouldn’t want to go to France?”

She continued to reach the radio dial and present the Frank Ocean, and I knew that we both thought that we were sharing in Paris, huddling under jackets on a cold boat race along the Seine or the size of the great ceilings of the Louvre.