DEAR ABBY: My son, who is in his last year of high school, is dating a beautiful, sweet girl who I will call “Amanda”. I love her so much. It’s an exciting year for them both because soon she will be buying her graduation dress. Amanda told me her mother said she should wear her older sister’s dress. (Her sister graduated seven years ago.) Their family’s finances are tight. I asked Amanda what she thought, and she’s not happy.
I would love to buy her a dress. I remember being in high school and how exciting it was to be able to buy a new dress. My daughter is two years older and says that soon the girls at school will be talking about buying their new dresses. I really want this experience for Amanda.
The problem is, I don’t want to offend her or her mother with my offer. Should I stay out of this? Should I approach his mother? I’ve only met his mother a few times and I don’t want to step on any toes. Even if my son and Amanda aren’t together at graduation, I would still want her to have the dress of her choice and all the experiences that come with it. — OFFERING HELP TO CANADA
EXPENSIVE OFFER: You are a caring, thoughtful, generous woman. However, the subject of Amanda’s family finances certainly promises to be tricky. Don’t discuss this with Amanda yet. Consider reaching out “mother to mother” and explaining that Amanda mentioned she might wear her sister’s dress to graduation.
Explain to mom that you care about Amanda and suggest to her if she allowed it, you would love to take them both out to lunch and buy a dress she might like. Tell her you’d like this to be your graduation gift to Amanda or, if it’s something she’d prefer to be just between the two of you adults, you’d reimburse her for the expense. So cross your fingers. You are a darling.
DEAR ABBY: The mother-in-law of my oldest daughter, “Teri”, dug through Teri’s text messages and found a cartoon I had sent of two First Colonials at a bar, one saying to the other: “I’ve been in the doghouse since I tried to hang my mother-in-law as a witch.” An argument ensued because she had viewed the texts without permission. Shortly after, I received a text from his mother-in-law with a middle finger emoji.
I live in the same city as the mother-in-law. Teri lives far away. Sooner or later our paths will cross and I don’t really know what to say or do. My text was meant to be a joke – although I have to admit that the mother-in-law is not an easy person to get along with. I didn’t respond to his emoji. I actually blocked his number on my phone. What should I do? No one has ever given me the finger before! — HUMOROUS DAD IN THE SOUTH
DEAR DADDY: There is always a first time. Tell the woman you’re sorry “if her feelings were hurt” and explain to her that the cartoon was a joke, rather than a judgment on her personally – or, when you see her, laugh at her. emoji, which was probably also a joke. .
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
New York Post
