DEAR ABBY: My niece, “Elle,” and her husband, “Liam,” have been self-employed for 20 years, but due to the economic situation, Liam decided to enter the workforce. He now has a government job, with good pay and benefits for them and their four children.
Our family is thrilled for him and his family, except for Elle. It’s amazing how determined she is to get her husband fired. She can’t stand Liam being away from her. She argues with him daily, telling him that he “chose a job over his family.” They’ve always been a beautiful family unit, but now She’s destroying it because of the insecure, overbearing control she needs. It’s heartbreaking to see, especially as their teenagers look for other places to sleep because of the constant arguments.
I wish I could make Elle understand that this job means they will no longer struggle financially, but she doesn’t care. She wants to be near Liam at all times. The situation is horrible. I can’t believe they could end up in divorce court because her husband got a great job in the state. Your thoughts on this, please? — POWERLESS IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR HELPLESS: I think your niece’s insecurity and insistence on keeping her husband on a short leash at all times is unhealthy to say the least. She needs professional help and Liam should insist. If she refuses, then he will have to decide if the current status of their marriage is something he is willing to tolerate for the foreseeable future and plan his next steps accordingly.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I retired six years ago and moved from California to Texas. I have two adult sons and my husband has two adult daughters who still live in Cali. My husband’s oldest daughter (50 years old) just visited us with her 10 year old daughter.
On the Sunday they were supposed to leave, my husband had to take them to the airport in the morning and leave me at home to read my Sunday paper. Before they left, his daughter wanted a photo of us all together. I told her I didn’t want a photo taken of me in my nightgown, but she said it would only be from the neck up. I nodded and she took the photo.
Two days later, my former clients from California posted on Facebook how happy they were to see me so happy in retirement. My husband showed me the Facebook post of me from the waist up in a nightgown on his daughter’s page!
I don’t go on Facebook, I don’t want my image on Facebook and I’m not happy that after expressing my feelings about having my picture taken in a nightgown, his daughter put me on Facebook.
Isn’t it okay to ask someone before arbitrarily posting their photo on Facebook? — NOT HAPPY IN TEXAS
DEAR NOT HAPPY: I’m going to assume your husband’s daughter didn’t post the family photo on her page to tease you. Maybe she forgot her promise. Because that’s not the impression of your happy retirement you want to convey, ask her to remove it and hope she complies. If not, don’t pose for any more family photos while she’s behind the camera.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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