Dear Abby: I have a 16 month old child who recently learned to walk.
My mother had watched her one day a week while I worked part -time, but she finally decided that it was too much stress on her back and said that she could no longer lift him. Lately, she told me that I had to “train” him to do certain things to look at him without lifting it (for example, climbing in her own car seat).
Abby, he’s too young to regularly do something like that.
It is no longer possible for her to put him in her car seat, to lift him to put him in her cradle, her high chair, etc. She is very arrogant about me to find alternative ways to do things that will end up doing more work for me. I think it would be safer and easier to pay a valid career.
He became stressful because she calls me “crazy” to think that it is a security problem.
If we are in the park and does something dangerous, I pick it up and remove it because it is not yet a reliable listener.
How to discuss it with her in a kind but firm way, and is my concern valid?
– Lift it in California
Dear lifting: You’re not crazy! Of course, your concerns are valid.
Your son is for years to be able to do what your mother suggests. Put an end to these discussions.
She needs to say kindly, but firmly, that you know that she loves her grandson, but he needs more practical care than she can give her, that’s why you are Hire someone to do so.
Dear Abby: I am one of your male readers. My best friend, “will”, and his family have been close friends for nine years. I consider them an extended family, and we do almost everything together.
Two years ago, they bought a house and converted the garage into a room for the brother-in-law of Will. A year ago, the brother-in-law met a woman whom I will call “Anika”, who stays with them several days a week.
She has made her place in the family, doing everything with Will’s wife and their child. Will and his wife have now started to include it during travel and things that they would normally invited to do with them – but without me.
I recently discovered that Anika was disgusted to learn that I was going to take a recent trip with them, but she gave in to Will to let me go.
I have the impression of being expelled from the family I know and that I like by this new girlfriend. How to manage this?
– Pushed aside to the east
Dear pushed: Tell that during the nine years, you have been friends close to him and his family, you grew up to consider them as your extended family. Then tell him that he came to your attention that Anika did not want you to include in this last outing and ask him if he knows why. Did you offend him in one way or another?
She can be jealous of the relationship you have had for so long with Will and his brother -in -law and does not want to share her boyfriend – or her family.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby on www.dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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