My ‘influencer’ daughter lives at home and doesn’t pay bills

DEAR ABBY: My 28 year old daughter came home when COVID arrived. She works as an influencer and also has a part-time job as a content creator. She doesn’t pay bills. My husband doesn’t want her to pay rent, etc. I think it’s important that she does. She pays for her groceries and gas.

She stays in her room day and night. She used to go out with friends, but now she does nothing. She says she has cyber friends. We have sometimes asked her to go out with us, but she refuses. Another problem is that she hasn’t been to the doctor or the dentist for a very long time. I talked to her about it and she blamed me for not taking her. I offered to accompany her, but she did nothing.

My husband doesn’t think there is a problem, but I think there is. I think we allowed it, even though we had no intention of doing so. Should we charge him rent? How can we get it to become more social? How can we give her the help she needs to move forward in life? — CONCERNED MOM IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR CONCERNED MOM: A step in the right direction would be for your husband to stick his head out of the sand and admit that his daughter might have a problem. The next step would be to have a frank conversation with her and tell her that if she wants to continue living with you, she needs to agree to have medical and dental checkups. Go with her to figure out what’s going on, as your daughter seems to be having emotional issues. Her “world” may be on the web, but unless she can find one on land, expect her to be under your roof forever.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with my partner (we are both men) for over four years. He constantly discusses everything from politics to why the squirrel outside crossed the street. Every day I hear him complaining about everything from news to the grocery list, laundry, etc.

A friend of mine will be in town this weekend. He invited my partner and me to a football match. When I shared this with my partner, he immediately declined, complained about the invitation and said he’d rather stay home. I’ve had enough of his negativity, and I’ve decided to end this relationship.

I’m not happy with this and decided that if my out of town friend wanted me to start a new life with him, I would be all for it. I’d rather be happy and not have to deal with that. Life is too short. Your thoughts? — MADE WITH THIS IN COLORADO

DEAR FACT: If you’re unhappy with your partner, agree with them about it. If any advice can make things better, see if he’s willing to give it a try. Otherwise, consult a lawyer specializing in family law and proceed to end the union.

One caveat, though, and I can’t stress this enough: you’ve hinted that you’d like to have a romantic relationship with the friend who invited you to that football game. JUMPING INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP BEFORE RECOVERING FROM THIS ONE WOULD BE A BIG MISTAKE. Give yourself time to detox. Meet people. Meet around. You’ll have a lot of fun if you do, and you’ll be less likely to have another failed relationship.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.