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My husband’s daughter is extremely involved

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for 15 years, married for seven. We’ve had our share of problems. Between the two of us, we have four daughters. He has two from a previous marriage, I have one from a previous relationship and we share one together.

It’s his eldest daughter who’s the problem. The two youngest live with us; the other two are adults who live outside the home. The eldest is very withdrawn and always has been. She loves hearing herself talk, and it’s always about herself. She’s not as bad as when she was younger, but it still bothers me. This doesn’t seem to bother my husband, but I find it annoying.

She has a son, so I don’t think she should only talk about herself. My reaction to him caused problems between my husband and me. My question is: how do I deal with a 30 year old man who is like that? — Humble lady in Texas

DEAR MADAM: You may consider yourself “humble,” but the impression you left on me is that you tend to be controlling and judgmental. It’s presumptuous to think you have the right to write a screenplay for another adult.

Even though you may view your husband’s eldest daughter as annoying, that doesn’t give you the right to act on your displeasure. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to see her often. Sometimes you can arrange to be somewhere else. But when you see her, be cordial and try to steer the conversation toward the topic of her son and his activities.

DEAR ABBY: I’m new to the LGBTQ+ community and I’m finding it difficult. I’m torn between living a happy life or being with my family, who are not 100% accepting of me as bisexual/asexual and involved with a transgender woman. My new partner and I are happy together, but my family doesn’t approve of me finally feeling happy and accepted by someone who values ​​me for me.

My partner and I want to eventually move to another state where we can live a happier life together, if and when the time is right. I want to live without stress and drama. I struggle with bad triggers in my personal life daily, with no way out. How can I be happy and have the support of my family, even if it doesn’t make them happy? — 2 MILLENNIUM IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR BI MILLENNIAL: You have the right to a stress-free life. Because your family is not accepting, you may have to build a chosen family for yourself. If you live in a community with an LGBTQ community center – or near it – start by contacting one. If not, go online and find an LGBTQ+ support group to help you through this.

Another source of support for you and your partner would be PFLAG (pflag.org). It also helps bridge the gap between families who struggle to communicate and understand gay, bi and transgender family members. With education comes understanding. If, however, this is not possible, the healthiest thing to do would be to move to a place where you can feel accepted for who you are.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

New York Post

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