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Dear Care and Feeding,
We started doing weekly Facetime calls with grandparents who live overseas. My 6-year-old daughter is usually a delight: chatty, funny, precocious. Unfortunately, that’s not the child they get on these calls at all.
She’s clumsy, speaks in an unintelligible and stupid voice, gets distracted by the camera, makes faces on the phone, and is generally irritating. I hate that her grandparents are working so hard to have a conversation, and she’s not giving them anything. Any advice? Can I block the screen so she can’t see herself? I’m starting to dread this moment.
-Hanged
Dear Hung Up,
FaceTime calls are a bit tricky for a child your daughter’s age. It’s hard for young children to take them seriously, and they don’t realize how annoying it is for them to act up when someone is trying to have a real conversation with them. You need to be lenient with her. Patiently explain to her that her grandparents don’t want to hear weird voices or see funny faces when they call her, and that since they live far away, this is the only time they can “see” her regularly. If she just can’t concentrate, you could try letting her have a regular voice call with her grandparents instead of face-to-face; it might be easier for her to focus without seeing each other. It might take her a few years to mature enough to be normal on a video call, and that’s okay. I’m sure her grandparents are always happy to see their adorable and silly granddaughter whenever they can. Her antics probably bother you more than they bother them. If you want her grandchildren to see how she usually behaves and what a good conversationalist she can be, send them videos.
—Jamilah
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