This essay as told is based on a conversation with Liv Arnold, a 29-year-old who met her husband at work. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
Tim and I met 12 years ago, when we were both working for one of Australia’s ‘big four’ banks. We were on the same team and we sat next to each other. We bonded over the fact that we both really, really hated our jobs. We dreamed of quitting together.
Nonetheless, we both stayed on that team for a year before moving on to other roles within the company. Our job was in the mortgage team and we had the same manager. We hated it because we were supposed to sell a product – home loans – to customers who couldn’t necessarily afford them. It was the worst kind of sales job. But our shared sense of humor helped each other.
We started as work colleagues, then became friends and we have now been a couple for 11 years.
We bonded in and out of the office
We played silly games to distract ourselves from the horror. One of them was called “Would You Rather?” We asked ourselves things like, “Would you rather eat a newborn or contract a sexually transmitted disease?” It was really stupid, but we were laughing when we should have been working.
We had the same group of office friends, but they were unstable. We organized dinners, movies or aperitifs after work. But one by one, they all gave up at the last minute, leaving only Tim and me. Tim then proved to me that he was reliable; he would show up when he said so. And me too.
Often it was just Tim and I alone – even though we were both in relationships at the time. At first, I considered Tim a friend. I had no hopes or romantic ideas for the first few months.
But then Tim’s relationship ended. He discovered his partner was having an affair. During this time, I was in a long distance relationship. We saw each other about once a month, but neither of us wanted to move for the other. So we knew it wasn’t right.
I didn’t break up with my boyfriend until the following year. At that time, Tim and I were just friends and colleagues; there was no affair.
Even though we were sitting next to each other, we had started messaging each other on the work IM service so we could discreetly send each other jokes and make each other laugh, making the day go by faster . Coworkers started joking that maybe something was going on between us.
But then we started dating for real
Valentine’s Day was fast approaching. We were all planning to go out, but once again all our friends canceled as usual. So it was still just Tim and me. We were having drinks and Tim was pretty drunk. I realized he had feelings.
We eventually got together and continued working on the same team, sitting side by side for another four months. When we told our coworkers we were dating, they thought we were joking. We had to convince them that we were serious.
Senior staff said they could see it coming from a mile away and were very happy for us, even congratulating us.
We have been together since
Now I’m an editor and author. I write romance novels about office romances. I guess I have some experience there. Tim thinks the charming heroes of my books are based on him, but that’s not the case at all.
We have been together for 11 years and got married in 2016. Tim has a new job at an energy company. I’m not worried about him meeting anyone else at work because we have a lot of trust.
Office romances are common. My advice is to go for it. Since we worked for a major bank, I at least knew that Tim had passed a police check, extensive background checks and a credit check. So I knew he was neither a criminal nor a bankrupt. That’s a good start if you ask me. You don’t get these assurances on Tinder.
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