My best support as a 4 year old mother is my childless friend

“Toast to the lawyer and a bowl of smoothie?” Asked Becca in the kitchen. “It looks perfect,” I replied, my nose in a book.

I stolen alone in Los Angeles for five days – far from my husband and our three grandchildren at the time – to be with my best friend, who lived in Redondo Beach.

Becca and I have been synchronized for over 25 years through many stages of life: summers swimming like children, secondary sports and boyfriends, college and our first professional jobs. But then I got married, I had four children and stayed in Michigan. She moved to Los Angeles and now Seattle and lives with her boyfriend and their two rescue dogs.

Even if she does not have her own children, she was the best support for me as a mother.

She hosted me during a solo trip where I recharged and I took a break in parenting

As soon as I took my seat on the plane, and no one asked me for a snack or anything at allI felt an overwhelming release of tension and exhaustion – and the flight had not even taken off. I read a whole book in the air, and Becca was waiting for me at the airport when I arrived: calm and warm, like the California sun, and ready to take care of me as I did not know that I needed.

During the next few days, she took me to magnificent coastal hikes with her dogs, to swim tricks in an outdoor swimming pool and to her local grocers for her favorite ingredients. She treated me with grain bowls, homemade pizzas in the outside oven and discussions at the end of the evening on red wine. She even programmed – and generously paid – massages and facials for us.

I felt completely refreshed for the first time since I became a mom in her presence and by causing himself. The days with her without children withdrew me from the fog from the exhaustion of the signing of maternity and constant work. I had a taste of his non-parenting lifestyle, with everything we wanted in our own schedule.

When I returned to Michigan with my family, I felt rejuvenated to be with them again and the renewed energy lasted months (no joke).

She crocheted adorable little stuffed animals for my children

When I put my bags in the house of friends at her house, I found three adorable little stuffy that Becca had crocheted for my children: a narhal, a turtle and a dinosaur.

“A little something to bring to children,” she wrote on a note.

I was so touched that she thought of my children, made a special memory for them and provided them with an integrated memory on my return. These animals are the favorites around our house, and each time I see them, a smile floats on my face.

Even if she lived on the other side of the country, she showed support when each of my children was born. She sent huge boxes of healthy snacks – energy squares for nursing care, mango slices, a mixture of trails and granola bar bars for children. Even if she does not have her own children, she took the time to think about what would be perfect for me postpartum.

She is flexible during meetings, including playing the park with my children while we catch up

When Becca flew to Michigan to visit her parents, she offered to find herself in a place and at a time that would work for me and the children. She and I caught up (or did our best) in a park while she was pushing my daughter on the swings and played hide and seek with my boys. She did not seem disturbed when I had to pause the conversation to help an upset child or take another snack of the car.

It meant so much for me that she was ready to slip into my day as a mom and go around.

She talks with me things outside of maternity

After the children are in bed, sometimes Becca and I will chat on the phone while I was walking. I always sprinkle stories about children; It shows interest and empathy for everything I go through. But we also discuss books that we read, our exercise routines and our creative activities, such as painting.

Conversations with my “mom friends” are essential because we have the life shared to raise children and all the joys and the difficulties that accompany him. With Becca, it’s a treat because I can get out of “Mom Brain” and talk about other things that are at the heart of whom I am. It reminds me and encourages me to do still things for me, the other parts of me who are not only “mom”.

Becca has been my best friend since we are children, and she is with me through everything. Even if our stages of life seem different at the moment, I could not imagine that someone better was by my side.