My adult children still need me in their life

I have never imagined what my life would look like when my children were cultivated and left. But I have blinked, and here we are, alive as beautifully and chaotic as when they were small. From time to time, I receive sweet little reminders that I had to do something good – like when the three children called me simultaneously During a tornado warning Last spring.

Time here in the Midwest can be mean, and this spring day has no exception – severe thunderstormsTrees down, power outages and groaning tornado sirens. One call after the other, the two older ones, called to check me. The youngest just needed his mom.

It is in moments like these, I realize how lucky I am. No matter where they are in their lives, I am always the one to which they turn (generally). The only thing that remains the same They need their mom as much as I need them.

Children’s adult parenting is difficult

I have often wondered if I had this parental thing. I said for a long time Parenting adult children are just as difficult – if not more difficult – than raising little ones. When they were younger, I had more control. I could guide their choices, set limits and repair things when they were wrong. NOW? Not so much.

Young people think they know everything. They are convinced that their parents are desperately disconnected. For a long time the adolescenceMine still does it sometimes, and I often wonder if they even love us at all. They ignore my advice, roll their eyes on my warnings and get their own way. As much as I would like to save them from the same mistakes as I made, they must understand it themselves.

They always come back

Not long ago, my children discussed a problem that one of them had. The conversation ended with my daughter saying: “So, mom was right.” My son replied: “F’ing mom. She is still right!” (If only they had listened to the first time.)

My oldest recently installed a new integrated pantry and I wanted to organize it. I made some suggestionsBut she didn’t think they made sense, so she did it in her own way. A few weeks later, she called and said, “Mom, I need you to organize my pantry. I need you to do it.” This pantry is certainly pleasant now.

This week was the pantry. The next one? The garden. This week? One of them needed tax assistance.

I rarely offer unsolicited advice. I learned to wait, be silent and let them come to see me – and they almost always do it.

Mom, I need your opinion.

Mom, what am I doing for …?

Mom, how can I …?

Mom…?

MOM!!! This is not an exercise!

I do not pretend to have all the answers. But we, adults, know certain things. We have experienced, learned, got our kicks in six ways on Sunday and I survived more than they think. Finally, they also understood it.

It’s beautiful and chaotic

I won the lottery in life with this complete and chaotic disorder. The best part? They all live a few minutes from me.

My oldest, a 36 -year -old in perfect health who had a major stroke two years ago, lives only in a few houses. Having my granddaughters in the street makes life all the softer. My son returned home to find his foot, and my youngest girl lives only five minutes away, relying on us all when she sails on a new maternity. We savor life with a newborn baby.

Some days, my house looks like a large terminal central. Most of the time, I would not exchange it for anything.

They still call me (generally) first

My goal was always to raise kind, attentive and compassionate people. It was never a question of being the best in the class or excelling in sport. It was a question of being good humans. I may not always have understood it well, but I’m sure I tried. Luckily, they excelled in school and sport too!

This stormy spring day, when I had presented phone calls from the three as an old -fashioned standard operator, trying to keep track of the weather, dogs and coverage, I had an overwhelming thought: I was proud of everyone for calling their mother.

Even in chaos, it was enough to take a break, smile and know that, despite all my doubts, every day difficult and all the moments I questioned if I did it correctly, I had to do something just after all.