Diddy performs on stage at the 2023 MTV Video Music Awards.
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This week, the federal trial against Sean “Diddy” Combs began in New York. Combs faces accusations of sexual traffic and racketeering, and he pleaded not guilty of all accusations. The lawyer for the defense of Combs, Marc Agnifilo, uses a familiar tactic to describe the relationship of the hip-hop magnate with one of her accusers, her former longtime girlfriend, the singer Casandra “Cassie” Ventura.
“There were two sides,” said Agnifilo in court. “We are going to take the position that there has been mutual violence in the relationship.”
This concept, often called “mutual violence” or “mutual abuse”, suggests that the two parties in a case of abuse have engaged in abusive behavior. This idea was also mentioned in the trial of Johnny Depp-Amber.
But law professor at Loyola Marymount University, Laurie Levenson, said that “mutual abuse” was not a legal defense of mistreatment.
“You will not find in law books a defense of mutual abuses. What you will see are the defendants arguing:” Well, I really thought that the victim agreed because she did it to me, and so I could do it “,” she said.
“(But) it is not good in the world of criminal law to abuse someone and to say:” Well, it is also in fault. “”
Bev Gooden, author of Survivor: why we stay and how we leave abusive relationships, believes that the idea of ”mutual abuse” also goes against the very definition of abuse.
“Abuse concerns a behavior model designed to maintain control of another person,” she said. “Abuse is a question of power, it is control, manipulation, not just physical violence or aggression. And therefore even if the two people adopt harmful behaviors, we are generally the aggressor controlling the situation.”
Gooden added that it is essential to understand the dynamics of power in play to be able to differentiate between abuse and response, even if they are similar.
She said: “I find that what is often labeled as a mutual abuse is more precisely a trauma response … The thing I always say is that the responses of trauma can cause damage. And I think that is what the public sees when they see someone who will be washing or unleashed with abusive abuse – (but) it is not the same thing.
But why would the defend of Combs concede that his relationship with Ventura was violent at all? Levenson thinks that the defense is trying to reframe this “mutual violence” as a consensual part of sex – a strategy that she saw in the case of the former Dodger player, Trevor Bauer.
“Trevor Bauer, in 2021, he was accused of having abused (someone) with various harmful and physically painful sexual activities. And his defense was:” Well, that’s just the way we have sex “”, she said. “And in fact, this case ended up being abandoned.”
Gooden said Kink was not an abuse. Practitioners are categorical that enthusiastic consent is at the heart of shit.
“Now (the case of Bauer) was not as extreme as what is alleged here against Combs,” added Levenson, “but I think the defense tries to crop it like,” gee, that’s how the world of rock’n’s roll works, and these people wanted to be part of it, so they are not really victims. “”
Gooden added that this story could be particularly acceptable to the public, who could be fans or admirers of a celebrity like Sean Combs.
“We often have trouble believing that someone we want in high esteem could be abusive, that the same hands that create art can also create terror,” she said. “It’s really difficult to sit down, and I sympathize with the people who work through it, because I went there. I think that a healthier way to face this injury and this confusion is to accept that someone can be good with you and always hurt someone else.”
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