When I gave birth to My first childI had heard the expression “you need a village to raise a child” of generous time. Unfortunately, however, it was not my reality.
What I found on social networks and from the general culture of military spouses Around me, there was the idea of a nuclear family – an independent family unit which did not count on external aid.
I also absorbed the message that mothers should do everything and be everything for their children, whatever their own health and well-being.
This individualistic state of mind makes Support search feel complicated.
Like some other families of soldiers, my husband and I live in a region without immediate family nearby, which was not a problem before having had children.
We were blind by the amount of Work this necessary care service. And with my husband traveling half of the time, a large part of this workload fell on my shoulders.
I had a hard time establishing routines with my daughter, and our days felt long and monotonous. Between the Sleep regressionsNap diseases and refusals, care breaks were rare.
I finally admitted that I needed help
Lauren Gumpert’s daughter points to the letter “y” on an alphabet on the wall. With the kind permission of Lauren Gumpert
After six months of maternity leave (with my spouse who left for most), I knew I needed help.
Even so, I agreed to find out if it takes Send my child to the daycare. This felt like it was giving up control and failing in a way as a parent by asking for help.
Since my income would barely covered the cost, staying at home would have been logical. However, with My partner went so muchI sucked in a reliable network of care to help lighten my charge.
We found a daycare center in a neighborhood near our house. When I dropped off my daughter on the first day with tears in my eyes, I will never forget what the receptionist at the reception said: “Do not worry, we are like a family here. We are here to help you.”
His words seemed comforting, but I did not believe them at the time. Now, more than two years later, with my two children in daycare, the ladies of the center TO DO Feel like a family.
I see them more often than I see my own family and friends, and they are among the first to know our most personal news, as the moment when the children and I came with Norovirus while my husband was outside the city.
Teachers supported our family in many ways
After fighting for months to bring my eldest daughter to settle on a nap routine, I was relieved when the daycare teachers obtained this feat.
They also exposed it to new foods, songs and friends. She always goes home excited to share what she learned, using her own fortune pointer at home to instruct letters, colors and shapes.
With my second baby, the daycare noticed that she was a bit behind her peers in her raw motor skills. Now, they have memorized her physiotherapy schedule and do the prescribed exercises with her during the day, always asking for her appointments and observing her progress.
Their kindness and compassion also extend to me.
These women never fail to ask questions about my night and offer words of encouragement when they notice the bags before my eyes to Dropoff. They were among the first to recognize my emerging bump and congratulate me when we discovered that we would add a third baby to the family.
As I got to know these women, they feel more and more like the family
Getting to know these women was a privilege.
I know that the receptionist of the reception has just welcomed a grandson who is currently staying at the Usin because he was born at 29 weeks.
I know that one of my toddler teachers is working on a second job at Ross and tries to finish his diploma in psychology.
I know that two other teachers have just rented their first town house together, and they attended my 2 -year -old child’s birthday with gifts in hand.
The registration of our children in the daycare was one of the best parental decisions that we have taken so far.
Not only does he provide regular routine and predictability unlike my husband’s unpredictable schedule, but it also surrounds my children of adult loving and trustworthy, which makes maternity much less lonely.
In order to accept help, however, I had to give up a control. I had to agree so as not to know what my daughters ate for a snack that day, or if their clothes would come home stained with paint and chalk.
It is a compromise that I would do again and again, because I like to be part of this village. I am a much better mom because of that.
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