Most influential? More like the most unbearable.
Proving that magazines are irrelevant and more disconnected than ever, Time named Prince Harry and Meghan Markle in their Time 100: The Most Influential People of 2021.
Please. Can you name a practical real-world application deployed by these two phonies that has served no one else but themselves?
Let’s see. They started 2021 with a bang, sitting down with Oprah to launch verbal ballistic missiles from a lush Santa Barbara garden, claiming the British Royal Family didn’t care that a pregnant Meghan was suicidal and that there was a racist among members of the royal family.
All this while Prince Philip, the Queen’s husband for almost 74 years, was on his deathbed.
“Be nice,” they constantly tell us. Compassion is their mark.
Oh, how we have suffered this year. Our collective hope that containment would be over is dashed. We’re ravaged by natural and man-made disasters – like those endless videos Harry and Meghan stream from their $ 14 million, nine bedroom, 16 bath mansion, teaching us about everything from Black Lives Matter in the US election (important, Megs says), to, of course, the environment.
Did you see Harry fly in private a few weeks ago? Polo match in Aspen. Such a beautiful look for these two self-proclaimed eco-warriors.
Netflix, Spotify, SussexRoyal, merchandise: these two are only interested in self-promotion and fame. We endured a painful personal video Meghan made with Melissa McCarthy, another self-aggrandizement under the guise of another bs initiative that no one remembers, Harry outside, juggling through a window.
McCarthy later said that Harry feared he would look “weird” doing this.
“In a world where everyone has an opinion about people they don’t know, the Duke and Duchess have compassion for people they don’t know,” chef José Andrés wrote for the magazine. “They don’t just voice their opinion. They run towards the struggle.
If by “run into the fight,” Andrés means doing nearly every great human tragedy on himself – from staging Remembrance Day photos in a California cemetery to their declaration in Afghanistan (lecturing us in “Alleviate suffering”) to their website reactivation on 9/11 – so yes, of course.
Let’s just call them what they are: heavy and mundane.
Even Twitter got it. The Time 100 cover image of the couple, Harry with eerily lush hair and Meghan wrinkle-free and glowing, has been read for dirt.
“The cover looks so fake …” said one of them. “Oh wait, it’s because they are.”
“Wow, has @TIME fallen,” said another. “Hard.”
Last Friday at Britain’s National TV Awards, the couple were booed as their clip for Oprah was playing.
“Everyone participated,” an anonymous audience member told The Sun. “It was really fun.”
Still, Harry and Meghan are undoubtedly on a victory lap, reveling in their illusion as world leaders, bolstered by a silly roster.
Reports indicate, however, that Spotify wants content by the end of 2021 to justify that $ 25 million salary. Harry has a memoir due soon, in which it is said that he lashes out at his stepmother Camilla and shames the Royal Family even more. After all, he doesn’t get $ 20 million without spilling some dirt.
But remember everyone: be nice.
And continue to watch out for the Sussexes, even if what they really want is privacy.