Me and the girls were easy prey, says Southport survivor

Dance class leader Leanne Lucas, who was stabbed in the Southport stabbing attack, said she believed the killer “targeted us because we were women and girls, vulnerable prey and easy”.

Speaking at Liverpool Crown Court before Axel Rudakubana’s sentencing, the 36-year-old read her victim impact statement and said she had worked with teenagers before and “never thought they would harm me or younger children.” .

“To discover that he had always sought to hurt the most vulnerable is incomprehensible,” she said.

She said she “endured three hospital stays during which I underwent several surgeries and received treatment.”

“At a time when the comforts of home may have helped me, I sat staring at the hospital walls, which had an even greater impact on my mental health.”

She said the trauma had been “horrible” and she was “trying to see the goodness in the world”.

Ms Lucas said there were “scars we can’t ignore” and she struggled to trust others and herself.

“As a 36-year-old woman, I can’t walk down the street without holding my breath when I walk around a person and then look back to see if they tried to stab me.

“As a 36-year-old woman, I cannot enter a public place without thinking about how I will get out in an emergency.

“As a 36-year-old woman, I cannot give myself compassion or accept praise, and how can I live knowing that I survived the death of my children.”

Ms Lucas said she saw her job as providing a “shelter” to help families in Southport by showcasing “kindness and positivity”.

“I never thought this was going to happen to me and now my mindset has changed: This could happen to you and it probably will happen to you,” she said.

“I feel like I’ve lost the ability to accept people as they are.”

She said she felt like she had “now lost my role, my purpose and my job because I can no longer provide that advice and reassurance to anyone.”

Ms Lucas continued: “I feel like I can’t be trusted anymore. I know people will disagree and say it’s not true, but her actions have proven that I I will never again be able to feel this level of responsibility where there may be danger to others.”

She concluded her statement by saying: “To Alice, Elsie, Bebe, Heidi and the surviving girls, I survive for you.”

Heidi Liddle, who helped Ms. Lucas organize the class, was sitting on the floor helping the girls make bracelets when she heard screaming.

Prosecutors said she tried to pull Ms. Lucas away after seeing that Ms. Lucas had been stabbed and began pushing the children toward the exit.

Ms. Liddle followed a young girl who had fled to the bathroom, locked the door and pressed her foot against it.

She told the girl to stay quiet, but they could also hear other children screaming, and then the bathroom door slammed.

Police footage shows officers later finding the two men hiding, with one officer telling Ms Liddle: “Listen, listen, listen, you’re safe.”

“Crying with fear and relief, they were escorted out of the building,” prosecutor Deanna Heer said.

In her victim impact statement, Ms Liddle said she was dropped off at home after the attack “without any professional support”.

The police had taken her mobile phone as evidence and she felt “completely cut off from everything and completely helpless because I didn’t know how many children had been injured, or where they were and if I could help them”.

“At first I felt like I had to be there for everyone and that I wasn’t taking my own feelings and needs into account,” she said.

She went on to share that she “couldn’t sit quietly” or be alone for the first month.

“I felt isolated from everyone because I felt like I couldn’t leave my house. I was constantly in tears and didn’t feel safe in my own home.

“The only time I left the house in the coming weeks was to go see Leanne and the girls in hospital or to attend the funerals of the three girls, which was heartbreaking.”

She said she has since replayed the incidents in her head, suffered panic attacks and night terrors and “carried so much guilt thinking I could have done more and reacted in a different way”.

“I thought everyone hated me and no one would trust me to take care of their children anymore,” she said.

Additionally, she faced false comments made about her online, which she said “added to my psychological trauma.”

“I thought I would be blamed by the public or by the parents of the children who would blame me for the fact that their child was seriously injured or killed.”

She said counseling “has helped, but I don’t feel like I’m anywhere near the end of this journey.”

Ms Liddle, who has a young daughter, said the attack had had “a huge impact on my family”, who were supportive.

“I don’t know what my professional future will look like. I’m terrified by the pressure of caring for children.”