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Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are so DONE! After making us swallow their unbearable “love story”, MAUREEN CALLAHAN says this narcissistic and talentless duo was doomed from the start.

This impending divorce could not happen to a more deserving and unbearable couple.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez — who have been collectively feeding us their ultra-special, all-consuming “love story” for the past two years and most of the beginning — are about to break up again.

Stevie Wonder saw it coming. Everyone I saw this coming – except, it seems, Ben and J.Lo.

“Everyone thought I was crazy,” Lopez told Variety just three months ago. “And by the way, I thought I was crazy.”

She didn’t talk about this new marriage, her fourth, or her insistence on being taken seriously as a singer who couldn’t sing, or her determination to stage a concert tour that was doomed to failure—as c This is the case today, canceled. last week in another humiliation.

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez - who collectively made us swallow their

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez — who have been collectively feeding us their ultra-special, all-consuming “love story” for the past two years and for most of the beginning — are about to break up again. (Pictured last month).

Stevie Wonder saw it coming.  Everyone saw it coming — except, it seems, Ben and J.Lo.  (Photo this weekend).

Stevie Wonder saw it coming. Everyone saw it coming — except, it seems, Ben and J.Lo. (Photo this weekend).

No: she was talking about her multimedia tribute to Affleck and their love, in the form of an album, film music and a self-financed $20 million documentary, a vision that Hollywood executives simply could not understand and would not support.

“Prince did it with ‘Purple Rain,'” she says in the doc.

Is she real? Prince was a genius, an original, a sui generis artist. Jennifer Lopez is a flat singer who probably owes her career to autotune and her scandalous moments with Diddy (which, karmically, could come back to bite her).

But that’s the level of delusion in Lopez’s la-la land. Even a warning from his long-time manager, Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, wasn’t enough to stop him.

“I was worried,” Goldsmith-Thomas said of Lopez’s plans. She asked Lopez, “Why are you sharing your story?” It’s too personal. Stop that.’

Exactly! We got the memo, Jen: You’ve won the deadbeat alcoholic gambler who allegedly screwed his children’s nanny behind his then-wife Jennifer Garner’s back (denied fervently, of course), then forced Garner to stop at fast food on the way to rehab! It’s a love story for all ages! From the beginning, you were The One, lucky girl!

You can’t sell people what they know is utter nonsense.

Affleck has been walking around for almost a year looking miserable – okay, that’s his factory default – slamming car doors with J.Lo in the passenger seat, sitting with a look sullenly at the Grammys as she apparently yells at him for looking motivated. !’, or tolerate terribly clumsy kisses from him, as if he were being administered painful medications.

J.Lo should have known better. When she reunited with Affleck — fresh after his then-fiance Alex Rodriguez had to deny allegations that he was caught flirting with a reality TV star — oh shame! – they told the world that they canceled their first wedding, planned for September 2003, due to media attention.

“I would say that’s about 50 percent (of what destroyed our relationship),” Affleck told Howard Stern.

The other 50 percent was supposed to be information that, while filming in Canada, weeks before their wedding — and just hours after their romantic “Dateline” interview aired — Affleck allegedly performed oral sex on a stripper , in a strip club, in front of her co-stars.

Besides, this idea that Affleck is a serious artist who can’t stand publicity or paparazzi, who endures what it takes to create, is also complete hogwash.

He spent most of the pandemic taking paparazzi rides with his then-girlfriend, Ana de Armas. When they parted ways, he made sure photographers got a photo of her life-size figure in his trash can.

After divorcing Garner in 2018, he basically blamed her for his alcoholism.

“I’d probably still be drinking (if we hadn’t divorced),” Affleck told Stern. “One of the reasons I started drinking alcohol was because I was depressed. »

A classy guy.

We got the memo, Jen: You've won the deadbeat alcoholic gambler who allegedly screwed his children's nanny behind his then-wife Jennifer Garner's back (denied fervently, of course), then forced Garner to stop at fast food on the way to rehab!  It's a love story for all ages!  From the beginning, you were The One, lucky girl!  (Photo from 2003).

We got the memo, Jen: You’ve won the deadbeat alcoholic gambler who allegedly screwed his children’s nanny behind his then-wife Jennifer Garner’s back (denied fervently, of course), then forced Garner to stop at fast food on the way to rehab! It’s a love story for all ages! From the beginning, you were The One, lucky girl! (Photo from 2003).

You can't sell people what they know is utter nonsense.  Affleck has been walking around looking miserable for nearly a year, slamming car doors with J.Lo in the passenger seat, sitting sullenly at the Grammys as she apparently yells at him to

You can’t sell people what they know is utter nonsense. Affleck has been walking around looking miserable for nearly a year, slamming car doors with J.Lo in the passenger seat, sitting sullenly at the Grammys as she apparently yells at him to “look motivated! “. (Pictured: Their wedding in 2022).

Affleck recently showed up to the Tom Brady roast, sounding and looking unstable — yet sources close to him are accusing the famously clean-living Lopez for the impact his “lifestyle” had on their marriage.

Now he wanders around Los Angeles, waving his hands so we can all see if he’s wearing his wedding ring, and he’s currently spending $100,000 a month on a rental in Brentwood.

This This is who Ben Affleck is. This is the guy whose camp is apparently reporting his total victimization at the hands of J.Lo, a woman who can’t shut up for a single second about the incredible Ben Affleck.

“If there was a way to divorce on the grounds of temporary insanity, he would do it,” a source said last week. “He feels like the last two years were just a fever dream, and he’s come to his senses now and understands that there’s just no way this is going to work.”

Most women, when their husband humiliated them like this, would throw his clothes on the lawn, change the locks, lose his number and promptly call the best divorce lawyer in town.

Not our J.Lo. She’s clinging on for dear life, staring down the barrel of a fourth divorce, the commercial and critical failures that were the Affleck-centric album and the films that accompanied it, all that cultural relevance and romance – it’s hard to know what she values ​​most – circling the proverbial leak.

Hey, if these two malignant narcissists can’t make it work, who will?

At least we got some great artistic performances out of it. Here is an overview of what we were subjected to during this go-around:

  • Two weddings, including a quick one at a Las Vegas chapel, all documented on J.Lo’s Instagram and feeling oddly desperate on her part.
  • Foodie shopping for eight-figure homes on both coasts.
  • J.Lo’s tribute album to Ben, ‘This Is Me… Now’, featuring a song with these execrable lyrics: ‘Missing your body/Climbing on top of me/Slippin’ inside of me/Way that I ride it/ Bodies aligning/ Watch our timing. She and Ben both have school-age children.
  • Lopez – in his documentary – holds up a thick binder, given to him by Affleck, which contains all their love letters from 2001 to the present. This timeline overlaps with Affleck’s marriage to Jennifer Garner, the mother of his three children. Talk about an unnecessarily cruel cut.

And hasn’t Garner suffered enough?

The main difference here is that people actually support her. She seems decent, likeable and has never commodified her relationship with Affleck.

J.Lo, though…it’s hard to support someone so limited, talentless, and self-centered. Who rejoiced in her happy marriage until she wasn’t. Who silenced a reporter by asking the only question an honest reporter would ask: What’s going on with your marriage?

“You know better than that,” J.Lo chided last month.

Who is she kidding? Herself alone, it seems.

J.Lo is clinging on for dear life, staring down the barrel of a fourth divorce, the commercial and critical failures that were the Affleck-centric album and the films that accompanied it, all that cultural relevance and romance that are circling the proverbial drain.  (Pictured last week).

J.Lo is clinging on for dear life, staring down the barrel of a fourth divorce, the commercial and critical failures that were the Affleck-centric album and the films that accompanied it, all that cultural relevance and romance that are circling the proverbial drain. (Pictured last week).

Maybe Ben’s bad behavior will dissuade her from giving up fighting for this marriage. Maybe she could learn something and disappear for a while, then reappear with some humility.

Maybe. But probably not.

Here’s her ostensibly adored husband in his documentary talking about how he sees her: Like a bottomless pit of need!

No love, he tells us, nor success, nor fame, nor wealth will ever make her happy.

Physician, heal yourself.

“In Jennifer’s case,” he says, “I don’t think there are enough followers or movies or records or anything like that to fill that part of you that feels that desire, This pain ultimately is work you have to do for yourself.

Lucky for her that Affleck seems to be freeing her to try.

And lucky for us, we’ll never need to hear about The World’s Greatest Love Story again!

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