Hey married guys, stop bothering us! Seriously, it drives us single women crazy.
On Thursday, my friend and I were cornered in the bar by a couple of older, married, thirsty men – obviously looking to have their egos stroked by two attractive young women before going home to their wives. The problem: all the fun was theirs.
My friends and I had headed to the pub after paying our respects to the Anzacs, intending to play a game of twos and flip a coin to find sexy single men to flirt with.
Unfortunately the queues to get into the pubs around Paddington were huge, so one by one the girls left in search of something better. With a girlfriend left standing, we finally made our way to the crowded bar and realized we were being squashed like sardines. Luckily, not far behind us, a group of men our age showed up and they looked hot!
We started making eyes and it was a good start.
Jana Hocking shares her criticism of married men who come to see her in bars. She was in a pub recently for Anzac Day when two married men ambushed her and a friend.
There were men who shouted “heads” and “tails” to each other in a macho way, like cavemen, who made us laugh, we were overwhelmed… there was a tall and handsome one in particular, and we had a good old flirtation. party. Until…
I headed to the crowded bar to buy my friend and I a drink. I finally got to the front of the line and felt a tap on my shoulder. Two older men with wedding rings were trying to get my attention. They asked me if I could also order their drinks so I wouldn’t have to wait in line – and in exchange they would pay for my drinks. Of course! I thought it was a great exchange of services.
So I ordered four drinks, had two and said thank you before heading back to my friend’s house.
What I didn’t realize was that they were following me. Sigh.
As I huddled against the wall of the crowded pub and handed my friend a drink, I discovered they were trying to get to us and we had nowhere to go. For what seemed like an hour, they talked to us. Not with us. Ours. And since the bar was so crowded, we couldn’t really escape it. What I thought was a kind act turned into a hijacking.
As we nodded politely and gave them very short answers, they began to dominate the conversation, clearly enjoying having two younger women to make them feel alive. The problem was that their joy was not ours.
The guys we made eyes at thought we were now happily entertaining these older (married) guys and turning their attention elsewhere. Shit.
Jana tried to politely refuse their advances and give short answers, but the men persisted.
Eventually my friend said she had to go to the bathroom and left to chat with some younger, very single guys and asked them to save us.
Which thankfully they did, and we then had a great afternoon rightfully flirting with men our age who weren’t thirsty old dudes who weren’t necessarily looking to cheat, but wanted to give a boost to their ego by half-talking to women. their age.
And it would be a laugh/cringe story if it was the first time this happened. But it’s not.
Why do married men seem to be most confident in a bar? Is it because the outcome doesn’t really matter?
They already have women at home, so they can have fun like ridiculous peacocks, and if someone takes the bait, so much the better. Otherwise, they will sleep peacefully next to their other half.
Is it because they desperately want to feel young and free again? To try to reassure themselves that they are still attractive to the opposite sex?
Jana wonders why married men feel so comfortable flirting with single women in bars
On another previous outing, I was with two girlfriends at a CBD bar for after-work drinks when a visibly drunk man joined our table. He had a huge, hard-to-miss Rolex watch and a shiny gold wedding ring.
He told us he was coming back from a long lunch and asked us to join him and his friends at a table across the bar. One glance in that direction, and it was clear that they were all married men who had just enjoyed a boozy lunch with the boys.
We politely thanked him for the invitation and told him we would do it later. Code words for: absolutely not.
Over the next hour, he made hot rounds in front of our table, each time insisting that we join his group. We finally left.
Now gentlemen, I understand that you are probably going through a mid-life crisis, but can you fix it? Because every time you try to take up space among us singles, you’re filling a space that should be occupied by single men. And it gets really annoying.
So choose therapy, or your wives, or your mistresses. And let us singletons make eyes at other singletons in bars. Seriously.
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