It’s like I live in a film, but not in the right direction

Dear Abby: I recently was 30 years old and I find myself in a kind of situation of “my big Greek marriage” – in particular the scene where the father of Toula invited several Greek men to dine to try to persuade her to marry one of them.

I told my father that I am not interested in going out together, but he and his boss keep talking to me about single Romanian men in their thirties, and dad wants me to “marry and make babies”.

How to tell him politely that I am happier and healthier as a single woman, instead of being married and mother when I know without fail I don’t want to be one?

Over the past 10 years, I have helped with my twin nephews. I am their main baby-sitter / nanny. I try to answer the questions of my nephews about the life in the visions of the world of their parents, and I clean the apartments of my brother’s mother and my nephews.

My decision to remain single and childless was not decided lightly. How can I politely tell my father that I don’t want to go out with anyone, even if some of them are very nice guys?

– Lady of the Romanian cat

Dear lady: At the age of 30, you should be able to decide what you would like your future to be, without any arms or “help” from your father.

How about telling him in simple (or Romanian) English exactly what you told me? From where I have been sitting, in the past 10 years, you have been submitted to an extra-large dose of parenting and household maintenance. If this “taste” is not for you, talk and say it.

You have not mentioned what your life situation is, but if you always live under your parents’ roof, recognize that it is time to establish your independence and move alone.

Dear Abby: A family member has moved here from outside the state for work and stays with us. Unfortunately, a few weeks after their big move, my spouse had a stroke. He now returns from the hospital.

We had already offered this family member a free room and board of directors to help the transition to their new job, but I have never dreamed that a medical emergency would occur.

I want to enjoy my life with my partner in private without stress at home.

I would like the family member to sell his old house and get an apartment or buy another house near his new job soon.

Suggestions on how to speed up the move without causing tension in the family? How to define a moving deadline?

– Search for a solution in the West

Dear looking for: Due to the change in your spouse’s state of health, your desire for confidentiality is understandable.

Talk to the family member. Explain that the circumstances have changed since you have issued the invitation to stay with you and ask if the work of this person is supposed to be permanent.

If it is permanent rather than temporary, it would not be nervous to recommend selling their home to buy one nearby.

If it is not permanent, the rental of an apartment would make sense. Offer to help your parent find one.

Conversation does not need to be conflict and should not cause tension. You should be able to agree with a deadline to move.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby on www.dearabby.com or Po Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.