It is apparently the dessert boss, and the rest of us pay

Dear Miss Manners: I go out dinner twice a month with a group of five friends. We always ask for separate checks, so there is never a shocking on how to pay.

However, a friend still orders “for the table” desserts. She does not ask if people want to share the dessert, nor what to order, but just takes care of.

I never participate in desserts; I already have to eat with my entry and work to resist the addition of others.

I sometimes feel forced to help pay the desserts, but I really prefer not to, because I would prefer not to order them in the first place. On the other hand, it is annoying to sit at a table with “shared” desserts and not to participate when the bill arrives.

What is the label on this subject? I will join with pleasure if it is the right thing to do – although, unfortunately, knowing that I pay for a part of the desserts will make me more difficult to resist them.

Soft reader: Since your friend’s dessert tip occurs regularly, he seems to miss the ways you should prepare for the next time saying, because she commands: “Thank you, but I have no dessert today. But you all go ahead.”

Then you better hope that your psychological scheme is working and that you are not tempted to participate, even when it is forced to do so.

Dear Miss Manners: Is it acceptable to place a small clutch in the evening on the table during the Restoration?

Often, restaurant chairs have an open back, so if I place the clutch behind me, it falls on the ground. (In the worst cases, it also reverses its content.)

If I place it on my knees under my towel, if I frequently slide on the ground, especially if my dress has a slippery fabric. If I try to place it under my leg, it cuts traffic, even if I manage not to crush the content.

Most claws also have no straps to accommodate a hand hook.

But I saw so many serious comments against placing a bag on the table, I’m short.

Mild player: Why the manufacturing industry did not understand the fact that women wear things – especially when this same industry encourages the purchase of things in the first place – is beyond Miss Manners. (Look how much grateful we are when our skirts have pockets!))

With all the major inventions of the modern world, nobody can create accommodation for our bags? Not only in restaurant tables, but in the drivers, in pubs, in theaters, on the buses? And not only these table hooks that jump to the ground at the slightest movement.

We should not have to do stories. But until Miss Manners makes her fortner by inventing a solution that works, it will allow you to place your clutch on the table. If there are complaints, it urges you to turn to the server for another recommendation – perhaps another chair can be purchased. If we continue to make our voices heard, maybe there will be change.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners on her website, www.missmanners.com; To his e-mail, gentlerader@missmanners.com; or by post to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.