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Is it reasonable to expect my fiancé to brush his teeth after eating gluten?

DEAR ABBY: I struggled for years with vomiting and nausea, along with other digestive issues that I dismissed as having a “sensitive stomach.” When my fiancé, “Marc”, and I started dating, he urged me to find out the cause of my problems. Six months ago I was diagnosed with celiac disease, an autoimmune disease managed by a gluten-free diet.

Marc has been incredibly supportive and our cooking is mostly gluten free. I can get quite sick, so we’re pretty careful. There’s only one problem: I can get infected if he kisses me after eating gluten, and he eats it quite often. This can be solved if he brushes his teeth carefully, but he only brushes his teeth every few days.

Marc is a grown man, and while we discussed it briefly from a health perspective, I don’t want to be responsible for managing his oral hygiene. It must be his responsibility. I don’t know where to draw the line, though, without checking. Is it reasonable to expect my fiancé to brush his teeth after eating gluten? Or every morning and evening? Or do I just have to accept that I can only kiss her on rare occasions? — BAD KISS IN KANSAS

DEAR BAD KISS: If kissing your fiancé is causing you bouts of nausea and vomiting (as well as other digestive issues), out of respect for your well-being, your fiancé should be willing, if not willing, to change his snacking habits. Insisting that he do what dental professionals have told him for as long as I can remember isn’t “controlling” – it’s protecting your health and his. SPEAK !

DEAR ABBY: My cousin refuses to allow me to see my aunt (“Betty”). After a horrible 2020, in which my cousin lost her husband to cancer and the lockdown that isolated most people, my cousin still cares for her mom beyond reason. I repeatedly asked if we could meet in person outside and offered to wear a mask, but she refused.

My cousin said in a text that she was taking care of her mom’s schedule. Her reasons when we talk are the loss of her husband, grief and fear. My aunt is often visited by her grandchildren, who live a regular life exposed to many elements, and my cousin works in an industry where she is exposed to many people.

My aunt is over 80 and I’m afraid the next time I see her will be in her coffin. After losing several people close to me over the past few years, it is obvious to me that life is short and we have no idea when our time will end. When my father died, Aunt Betty and her husband were very nice to me. I have always adored her.

It makes me sad and sometimes angry that my cousin does this. I think she is selfish. Should I tell him something or just let it be? — MISSING MY AUNT OUT WEST

DEAR LACK: By all means, have this conversation with your cousin. Because she has a career that exposes her to strangers who could transmit a contagious disease, and allows grandchildren to visit her, her reasons for not allowing you to see your aunt have no meaning. sense.

What makes sense is that she may have other reasons for preventing you from having a relationship with her mother. Whatever they are, only she can answer.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

New York Post

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