Introvert person worried about friendships

Dear Amy: I never had a ton of friends. Introverted, I favor quality over quantity.

I’ve never had a tight “group” of girlfriends – just individuals, with some overlap with people who know each other.

As we get older, and especially during and since the pandemic, I don’t see or talk to my friends as often as I used to.

Some have become busier with work and play, and some are still hesitant to resume pre-COVID activities.

All of my friends seem to have friends they are closer to than me, so they don’t seem to “need” me as much as I need them.

I’ve tried to meet new people at activities I attend, but it’s hard to get past the friendly acquaintance stage.

We’re all in our 50s, so I think I should be past that. How can I make new, genuine friends at this age and/or strengthen the friendships I have?


Dear J: It would help if you could recognize that long-standing, deep, and intimate friendships are quite a rare treasure.

Even people you might think are social butterflies probably only have one or two people they really feel a close connection to.

Your statement reveals an assumption that “all” your friends have friends they are closer to than they are to you.


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