DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently found out I’m expecting triplets. Although I’m thrilled with the news, I can’t shake this overwhelming feeling of fear and anxiety.
I’m a first time mom and triplets aren’t part of my family, so this was a huge surprise for me and my husband. The idea of caring for three newborns at once is daunting.
I worry about everything from finances to just managing daily tasks.
Our families have offered to fly in to help us, as we don’t live in the same state as them; however, they won’t be able to stay that long because they all have their own jobs and lives to take care of.
I have six months to prepare, but it feels like six days! How can I overcome these fears and prepare for this new journey as a first-time mom of triplets?
— Welcome three
DEAR WELCOME THREE: Furnish the nursery with everything you need for the children. Find help locally from your mothers’ network, health facility or friends so you don’t rely solely on your family.
Talk to a financial advisor about family planning. It’s never too early to develop a financial strategy for caring for your triplets.
Consider calling on a midwife or doula to accompany you during your delivery and your immediate care.
Do your best to plan ahead. This will help you when you are exhausted or at your wits’ end. Look for a support group of other moms and, if you can find one, mothers of multiple families.
If you want a midwife and need financial support, contact Birthfund.com, a new nonprofit launched by activist, media personality and mom Elaine Welteroth.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an upcoming birthday trip planned to Hawaii and I’m not sure about the etiquette of asking the people I’ve invited to contribute to the cost of the trip.
Most of them are close friends and university acquaintances.
Is it acceptable to ask customers to pay for a share of the trip, or is this not standard practice? I want to make sure everyone is comfortable with the arrangements. Any ideas or advice would be great.
– Birthday girl
DEAR BIRTHDAY GIRL: Your friends shouldn’t assume you’re paying for their trip, even if it’s your birthday. It is important to clearly specify with them what the planned activities and expenses will be.
I suggest building an itinerary that includes activities you do together and time they can be alone. If you can, plan one meal per day that you pay for, which can be for food only or for food and drinks. Arrange with the hotel or resort to receive a group discount on rooms and let your guests know how to access them.
If you plan your trip thoroughly and communicate every detail clearly, your guests will understand the commitment they are making and plan their individual trip accordingly.
Harriette Cole is a lifestyle stylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative aimed at helping people access and achieve their dreams. You can send questions to Askharriette@harriettecole.com or to Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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